I thought her advice dictated by the tenderest care, and I determined to benefit by it. So great was the influence of this charming girl over me, that, little by little, instead of loving Manon, I hated her. That gave me courage, and completed my cure. At the present time I can see that Manon was very wise in accepting Blondel's offer, and that my love for self and not my love for her was wounded.
I was in my servant's hands, my face turned away towards the fire, so that I could not see Esther, but only divert myself with the idea that she was inspecting my belongings, when all at once she presented herself with a melancholy air, holding Mamon's fatal letter in her hand.
"Am I to blame," said she, timidly, "for having discovered the cause of your sorrow?"
I felt rather taken aback, but looking kindly at her, I said, "No, no, my dear Esther; pity your friend, and say no more about it."
"Then I may read all the letters?"
"Yes, dearest, if it will amuse you."
All the letters of the faithless Manon Baletti to me, with mine to her, were together on my table. I pointed them out to Esther, who begun to read them quite eagerly.
When I was dressed, as if for some Court holiday, Le Duc went out and left us by ourselves, for the worthy governess, who was working at her lace by the window, looked at her lace, and nothing else. Esther said that nothing had ever amused her so much as those letters.
"Those cursed epistles, which please you so well, will be the death of me."
"Death? Oh, no! I will cure you, I hope."
"I hope so, too; but after dinner you must help me to burn them all from first to last."
"Burn them! No; make me a present of them. I promise to keep them carefully all my days."
"They are yours, Esther. I will send them to you to-morrow."
These letters were more than two hundred in number, and the shortest were four pages in length. She was enchanted to find herself the possessor of the letters, and she said she would make them into a parcel and take them away herself.
"Shall you send back the portrait to your faithless mistress?" said she.
"I don't know what to do with it."
"Send it back to her; she is not worthy of your honouring her by keeping it. I am sure that your oracle would give you the same advice. Where is the portrait? Will you shew it me?"
I had the portrait in the interior of a gold snuff-box, but I had never shewn it to Esther for fear she should think Manon handsomer than herself, and conclude that I only shewd it her out of vanity;
but as she now asked to see it I opened the box where it was and gave it her.
Any other woman besides Esther would have pronounced Manon downright ugly, or have endeavored at the least to find some fault with her, but Esther pronounced her to be very beautiful, and only said it was a great pity so fair a body contained so vile a soul.
The sight of Manon's portrait made Esther ask to see all the other portraits which Madame Manzoni had sent me from Venice. There were naked figures amongst them, but Esther was too pure a spirit to put on the hateful affectations of the prude, to whom everything natural is an abomination. O-Murphy pleased her very much, and her history, which I related, struck her as very curious. The portrait of the fair nun, M----M----, first in the habit of her order and afterwards naked, made her laugh, but I would not tell Esther her story, in spite of the lively desire she displayed to hear it.
At dinner-time a delicate repast was brought to us, and we spent two delightful hours in the pleasures of a conversation and the table.
I seemed to have passed from death to life, and Esther was delighted to have been my physician. Before we rose from table I had declared my intention of sending Manon's portrait to her husband on the day following, but her good nature found a way of dissuading me from doing so without much difficulty.
Some time after, while we were talking in front of the fire, she took a piece of paper, set up the pyramids, and inscribed the four keys O, S, A, D. She asked if I should send the portrait to the husband, or whether it would not be more generous to return it to the faithless Manon. Whilst she was calculating she said over and over again, with a smile, "I have not made up the answer." I pretend to believe her, and we laughed like two augurs meeting each other alone. At last the reply came that I ought to return the portrait, but to the giver, since to send it to the husband would be an act unworthy of a man of honour.
I praised the wisdom of the oracle, and kissed the Pythoness a score of times, promising that the cabala should be obeyed implicitly, adding that she had no need of being taught the science since she knew it as well as the inventor.
I spoke the truth, but Esther laughed, and, fearing lest I should really think so, took pains to assure me of the contrary.
It is thus that love takes his pleasure, thus his growth increases, and thus that he so soon becomes a giant in strength.
"Shall I be impertinent," said Esther, "if I ask you where your portrait is? Manon says in her letter that she is sending it back;
but I don't see it anywhere."
"In my first paroxy** of rage, I threw it down; I don't know in what direction. What was thus despised by her cannot be of much value to me."