they must do with commoner things, I suppose, and look after the scraps. It seems, money goes but a little way in these matters, for Wrench has everything as plain as possible, and he has a very large practice.""Oh, if you think of living as the Wrenches do!" said Rosamond, with a little turn of her neck. "But I have heard you express your disgust at that way of living.""Yes, they have bad taste in everything--they make economy look ugly.
We needn't do that. I only meant that they avoid expenses, although Wrench has a capital practice.""Why should not you have a good practice, Tertius? Mr. Peacock had.
You should be more careful not to offend people, and you should send out medicines as the others do. I am sure you began well, and you got several good houses. It cannot answer to be eccentric;you should think what will be generally liked," said Rosamond, in a decided little tone of admonition.
Lydgate's anger rose: he was prepared to be indulgent towards feminine weakness, but not towards feminine dictation.
The shallowness of a waternixie's soul may have a charm until she becomes didactic. But he controlled himself, and only said, with a touch of despotic firmness--"What I am to do in my practice, Rosy, it is for me to judge.
That is not the question between us. It is enough for you to know that our income is likely to be a very narrow one--hardly four hundred, perhaps less, for a long time to come, and we must try to re-arrange our lives in accordance with that fact."Rosamond was silent for a moment or two, looking before her, and then said, "My uncle Bulstrode ought to allow you a salary for the time you give to the Hospital: it is not right that you should work for nothing.""It was understood from the beginning that my services would be gratuitous. That, again, need not enter into our discussion.
I have pointed out what is the only probability," said Lydgate, impatiently. Then checking himself, he went on more quietly--"I think I see one resource which would free us from a good deal of the present difficulty. I hear that young Ned Plymdale is going to be married to Miss Sophy Toller. They are rich, and it is not often that a good house is vacant in Middlemarch. I feel sure that they would be glad to take this house from us with most of our furniture, and they would be willing to pay handsomely for the lease.
I can employ Trumbull to speak to Plymdale about it."Rosamond left her husband's knee and walked slowly to the other end of the room; when she turned round and walked towards him it was evident that the tears had come, and that she was biting her under-lip and clasping her hands to keep herself from crying.
Lydgate was wretched--shaken with anger and yet feeling that it would be unmanly to vent the anger just now.
"I am very sorry, Rosamond; I know this is painful.""I thought, at least, when I had borne to send the plate back and have that man taking an inventory of the furniture--I should have thought THAT would suffice.""I explained it to you at the time, dear. That was only a security and behind that Security there is a debt. And that debt must be paid within the next few months, else we shall have our furniture sold.
If young Plymdale will take our house and most of our furniture, we shall be able to pay that debt, and some others too, and we shall be quit of a place too expensive for us. We might take a smaller house: Trumbull, I know, has a very decent one to let at thirty pounds a-year, and this is ninety." Lydgate uttered this speech in the curt hammering way with which we usually try to nail down a vague mind to imperative facts. Tears rolled silently down Rosamond's cheeks; she just pressed her handkerchief against them, and stood looking al; the large vase on the mantel-piece. It was a moment of more intense bitterness than she had ever felt before.
At last she said, without hurry and with careful emphasis--"I never could have believed that you would like to act in that way.""Like it?" burst out Lydgate, rising from his chair, thrusting his hands in his pockets and stalking away from the hearth; "it's not a question of liking. Of course, I don't like it; it's the only thing I can do." He wheeled round there, and turned towards her.
"I should have thought there were many other means than that,"said Rosamond. "Let us have a sale and leave Middlemarch altogether.""To do what? What is the use of my leaving my work in Middlemarch to go where I have none? We should be just as penniless elsewhere as we are here," said Lydgate still more angrily.
"If we are to be in that position it will be entirely your own doing, Tertius," said Rosamond, turning round to speak with the fullest conviction. "You will not behave as you ought to do to your own family. You offended Captain Lydgate.
Sir Godwin was very kind to me when we were at Quallingham, and I am sure if you showed proper regard to him and told him your affairs, he would do anything for you. But rather than that, you like giving up our house and furniture to Mr. Ned Plymdale."There was something like fierceness in Lydgate's eyes, as he answered with new violence, "Well, then, if you will have it so, I do like it. I admit that I like it better than ****** a fool of myself by going to beg where it's of no use. Understand then, that it is what I LIKE TO DO."There was a tone in the last sentence which was equivalent to the clutch of his strong hand on Rosamond's delicate arm.
But for all that, his will was not a whit stronger than hers.
She immediately walked out of the room in silence, but with an intense determination to hinder what Lydgate liked to do.
He went out of the house, but as his blood cooled he felt that the chief result of the discussion was a deposit of dread within him at the idea of opening with his wife in future subjects which might again urge him to violent speech. It was as if a fracture in delicate crystal had begun, and he was afraid of any movement that might mate it fatal.