Cynthia went a little paler.'But I said things in those letters about mamma.I was quick-eyed enough to all her faults, and hardly understood the force of her temptations; and he says he will show those letters to your father, unless I consent to acknowledge our engagement.'
'He shall not!' said Molly, rising up in her indignation, and standing before Cynthia almost as resolutely fierce as if she were in the very presence of Mr Preston himself.'I am not afraid of him.He dare not insult me, or if he does, I do not care.I will ask him for those letters, and see if he will dare to refuse me.'
'You don't know him,' said Cynthia, shaking her head.'He has made many an appointment with me, just as if he would take back the money - which has been sealed up ready for him this four months; or as if he would give me back my letters.Poor, poor Roger! How little he thinks of all this.
When I want to write words of love to him I pull myself up, for I have written words as affectionate to that other man.And if Mr Preston ever guessed that Roger and I were engaged he would manage to be revenged on both him and me by giving us as much pain as he could with those unlucky letters - written when I was not sixteen, Molly, - only seven of them!
They are like a mine under my feet, which may blow up any day; and down will come father and mother and all.' She ended bitterly enough, though her words were so light.
'How can I get them?' said Molly, thinking, - 'for get them I will.
With papa to back me, he dare not refuse.'
'Ah! But that's just the thing.He knows I'm afraid of your father's hearing of it all, more than of any one else.'
'And yet he thinks he loves you!'
'It is his way of loving.He says often enough he does not care what he does so that he gets me to be his wife; and that after that he is sure he can make me love him.' Cynthia began to cry, out of weariness of body and despair of mind.Molly's arms were round her in a minute, and she pressed the beautiful head to her bosom, and laid her own cheek upon it, and hushed her up with lulling words, just as if Cynthia were a little child.
'Oh, it is such a comfort to have told you all!' murmured she.And Molly made reply, - 'I am sure we have right on our side; and that makes me certain he must and shall give up the letters.'
'And take the money?' added Cynthia, lifting her head, and looking eagerly into Molly's face.'He must take the money.Oh, Molly, you can never manage it all without its coming out to your father! And I would far rather go out to Russia as a governess.I almost think I would rather - no, not that,'
said she, shuddering away from what she was going to say.'But he must not know - please, Molly, he must not know.I could not bear it.I don't know what I might not do.You'll promise me never to tell him, or mamma?'
'I never will.You do not think I would for anything short of saving -- ' She was going to have said, 'saving you and Roger from pain.' But Cynthia broke in, -'For nothing.No reason whatever must make you tell your father.If you fail, you fail, and I will love you for ever for trying; but I shall be no worse than before.Better, indeed; for I shall have the comfort of your sympathy.But promise me not to tell Mr Gibson.'
'I have promised once,' said Molly, 'but I promise again; so now do go to bed, and try and rest.You are looking as white as a sheet; you'll be ill if you don't get some rest; and it's past two o'clock, and you're shivering with cold.'
So they wished each other good-night.But when Molly got into her room all her spirit left her; and she threw herself down on her bed, dressed as she was, for she had no heart left for anything.If Roger ever heard of it all by any chance, she felt how it would disturb his love for Cynthia.
And yet was it right to conceal it from him? She must try and persuade Cynthia to tell it all straight out to him as soon as he returned to England.
A full confession on her part would wonderfully lessen any pain he might have on first hearing of it.She lost herself in thoughts of Roger - how he would feel, what he would say, how that meeting would come to pass, where he was at that very time, and so on, till she suddenly plucked herself up, and recollected what she herself had offered and promised to do.Now that the first fervour was over, she saw the difficulties clearly; and the foremost of all was how she was to manage to have a tête-?tête with Mr Preston? How had Cynthia managed? and the letters that had passed between them too? Unwillingly, Molly was compelled to perceive that there must have been a great deal of underhand work going oning beneath Cynthia's apparent I openness of behaviour; and still more unwillingly she began to be afraid that she herself would be led into the practice.But she would try and walk in a straight path; and if she did wander out of it, it should only be to save pain to those whom she loved.