The Earl of Earlybird was an old man of a very peculiar character.He had never opened his mouth in the House of Lords, and had never sat in the House of Commons.The political world knew him not at all.He had a house in town, but very rarely lived there.Early Park, in the parish of B Bird, had been his residence since he first came to the title forty years ago, and had been the scene of all his labours.He was a nobleman possessed of a moderate fortune, and, as men said of him, of a moderate intellect.He had married early in life and was blessed with a large family.But he had certainly not been an idle man.
For nearly half a century he had devoted himself to the improvement of the labouring classes, especially in reference to their abodes and education, and gradually without any desire on his own part, worked himself up into public notice.He was not an eloquent man, but he would take the chair at meeting after meeting, and sit with admirable patience for long hours to hear the eloquence of others.He was a man very ****** in his tastes, and had brought up his family to follow his habits.He had therefore been able to do munificent things with moderate means, and in the long course of years had failed in hiding his munificence from the public.Lord Earlybird, till after middle life, had not been much considered, but gradually there had grown up a feeling that there were not very many better men in the country.He was a fat, bald-headed old man, who was always pulling his spectacles on and off, nearly blind, very awkward, and altogether indifferent to appearance.Probably he had no more idea of the Garter in his own mind than he had of a Cardinal's hat.But he had grown into fame, and had not escaped the notice of the Prime Minister.
'Do you know anything against Lord Earlybird?' asked the Prime Minister.
'Certainly nothing against him, Duke.'
'Not anything in his favour?'
'I know him very well,--I think I may say intimately.There isn't a better man breathing.'
'A honour to the peerage?' said the Prime Minister.
'An honour to humanity rather,' said the other, 'as being of all men the least selfish and most philanthropical.'
'What more can be said for a man?'
'But according to my view he is not the sort of person whom one would wish to see made a Knight of the Garter.If he had the ribbon he would never wear it.'
'The honour surely does not consist in its outward sign.I am entitled to wear some kind of coronet, but I do not walk about with it on my head.He is a man of great heart and of many virtues.Surely the country, and her Majesty on behalf of the country, should delight to honour such a man.'
'I really doubt whether you look at the matter in the right light,' said the ancient statesman, who was in truth frightened at what was being proposed.'You must not be angry with me if Ispeak plainly.'
'My friend, I do not think that it is within your power to make me angry.'
'Well then,--I will get for a moment to listen to my view on the matter.There are certain great prizes in the gift of the Crown and of the Ministers of the Crown,--the greatest of which are now traditionally at the disposal of the Prime Minister.These are always given to party friends.I may perhaps agree with you that party support should not be looked to alone.Let us acknowledge that character and services should be taken into account.But the very theory of our Government will be overset by a reversal of the rule which I have attempted to describe.
You will offend all your own friends, and only incur the ridicule of your opponents.It is no doubt desirable that the high seats of the country should be filled by men of both parties.I would not wish to see every Lord Lieutenant of a county a Whig.' In his enthusiasm the old Duke went back to his old phraseology.