书城公版THE PICKWICK PAPERS
37385400000269

第269章

The old lady nodded the satisfaction which this proof of the surly man's foresight imparted to her feelings; and the surly man giving a smart lash to the chubby horse, they all repaired to Mr.Bob Sawyer's together.

"Martin!" said the old lady, when the fly stopped at the door of Mr.

Robert Sawyer, late Nockemorf.

"Well?" said Martin.

"Ask the lad to step out, and mind the horse.""I'm going to mind the horse myself," said Martin, laying his whip on the roof of the fly.

"I can't permit it, on any account," said the old lady; "your testimony will be very important, and I must take you into the house with me.You must not stir from my side during the whole interview.Do you hear?""I hear," replied Martin.

"Well; what are you stopping for?"

"Nothing," replied Martin.So saying, the surly man leisurely descended from the wheel, on which he had been poising himself on the tops of the toes of his right foot, and having summoned the boy in the grey livery, opened the coach-door, flung down the steps, and thrusting in a hand enveloped in a dark wash-leather glove, pulled out the old lady with as much unconcern in his manner as if she were a bandbox.

"Dear me!" exclaimed the old lady."I am so flurried, now I have got here, Martin, that I'm all in a tremble."Mr.Martin coughed behind the dark wash-leather glove, but expressed no sympathy; so the old lady, composing herself, trotted up Mr.Bob Sawyer's steps, and Mr.Martin followed.Immediately on the old lady's entering the shop, Mr.Benjamin Allen and Mr.Bob Sawyer, who had been putting the spirits and water out of sight, and upsetting nauseous drugs to take off the smell of the tobacco-smoke, issued hastily forth in a transport of pleasure and affection.

"My dear aunt," exclaimed Mr.Ben Allen, "how kind of you to look in upon us! Mr.Sawyer, aunt; my friend Mr.Bob Sawyer whom I have spoken to you about, regarding--you know, aunt." And here Mr.Ben Allen, who was not at the moment extraordinarily sober, added the word "Arabella," in what was meant to be a whisper, but which was an especially audible and distinct tone of speech, which nobody could avoid hearing, if anybody were so disposed.

"My dear Benjamin," said the old lady, struggling with a great shortness of breath, and trembling from head to foot: "don't be alarmed, my dear, but I think I had better speak to Mr.Sawyer, alone, for a moment.Only for one moment.""Bob," said Mr.Ben Allen, "will you take my aunt into the surgery?""Certainly," responded Bob, in a most professional voice."Step this way, my dear ma'am.Don't be frightened, ma'am.We shall be able to set you to rights in a very short time, I have no doubt, ma'am.Here, my dear ma'am.Now then!" With this, Mr.Bob Sawyer having handed the old lady to a chair, shut the door, drew another chair close to her, and waited to hear detailed the symptoms of some disorder from which he saw in perspective a long train of profits and advantages.

The first thing the old lady did, was to shake her head a great many times, and begin to cry.

"Nervous," said Bob Sawyer complacently."Camphorjulep and water three times a-day, and composing draught at night.""I don't know how to begin, Mr.Sawyer," said the old lady."It is so very painful and distressing.""You need not begin, ma'am," rejoined Mr.Bob Sawyer."I can anticipate all you would say.The head is in fault.""I should be very sorry to think it was the heart," said the old lady, with a slight groan.

"Not the slightest danger of that, ma'am," replied Bob Sawyer."The stomach is the primary cause.""Mr.Sawyer!" exclaimed the old lady, starting.

"Not the least doubt of it, ma'am," rejoined Bob, looking wondrous wise.

"Medicine, in time, my dear ma'am, would have prevented it all.""Mr.Sawyer," said the old lady, more flurried than before, "this conduct is either great impertinence to one in my situation, sir, or it arises from your not understanding the object of my visit.If it had been in the power of medicine, or any foresight I could have used, to prevent what has occurred, I should certainly have done so.I had better see my nephew at once," said the old lady, twirling her reticule indignantly, and rising as she spoke.

"Stop a moment, ma'am," said Bob Sawyer; "I'm afraid I have not understood you.What is the matter, ma'am?""My niece, Mr.Sawyer," said the old lady; "your friend's sister.""Yes, ma'am," said Bob, all impatience; for the old lady, although much agitated, spoke with the most tantalising deliberation, as old ladies often do."Yes, ma'am.""Left my home, Mr.Sawyer, three days ago, on a pretended visit to my sister, another aunt of hers, who keeps the large boarding-school just beyond the third mile-stone where there is a very large laburnum tree and an oak gate," said the old lady, stopping in this place to dry her eyes.

"Oh, devil take the laburnum tree, ma'am!" said Bob, quite forgetting his professional dignity in his anxiety."Get on a little faster; put a little more steam on, ma'am, pray.""This morning," said the old lady, slowly, "this morning, she--""She came back, ma'am, I suppose," said Bob, with great animation."Did she come back?""No, she did not; she wrote," replied the old lady.

"What did she say?" inquired Bob, eagerly.

"She said, Mr.Sawyer," replied the old lady--"and it is this, I want you to prepare Benjamin's mind for, gently and by degrees; she said that she was--I have got the letter in my pocket, Mr.Sawyer, but my glasses are in the carriage, and I should only waste your time if I attempted to point out the passage to you, without them; she said, in short, Mr.Sawyer, that she was married.""What!" said, or rather shouted, Mr.Bob Sawyer.

"Married," repeated the old lady.