She had never seen him since a day on which she had parted from him with many kisses--with warm, pressing, eager kisses--of which she had been nowhat ashamed. He had then been to her almost as her husband. She had trusted him entirely, and had thrown herself into his arms with full reliance. There is often much of reticence on the part of a woman towards a man to whom she is engaged, something also of shamefacedness occasionally. There exists a shadow of doubt, at least of that hesitation which shows that in spite of vows the woman knows that a change may come, and that provision for such possible steps backward should always be within her reach. But Lily had cast all such caution to the winds. She had given herself to the man entirely, and had determined that she would sink or swim, stand or fall, live or die, by him and by his truth. He had been as false as hell. She had been in his arms, clinging to him, kissing him, swearing that her only pleasure in the world was to be with him--with him, her treasure, her promised husband;and within a month, a week, he had been false to her. There had come upon her crushing tidings, and she had for days wondered at herself that they had not killed her. But she had lived, and had forgiven him, which had been answered as the reader knows. But she had never seem him since the day on which she had parted from him at Allington, without a doubt as to his faith. Now he was before her, walking on the footpath, almost within reach of her whip.
He did not recognise her, but as he passed on he did recognise Mr Onesiphorus Dunn, and stopped to speak to him. Or it might have been that Crosbie's friend Fowler Pratt stopped with this special object--for Siph Dunn was an intimate friend of Fowler Pratt's. Crosbie and Siph were also acquainted, but in those days Crosbie did not care much for stopping his friends in the Park or elsewhere. He had become moody and discontented, and was generally seen going about the world alone. On this special occasion he was having a little special conversation about money with his very old friend Fowler Pratt.
'What, Siph, is this you? You're always on horseback now,' said Fowler Pratt.
'Well, yes; I have gone in a good deal for cavalry work this last month.
I've been lucky enough to have a young lady to ride with me.' This he said in a whisper, which the distance of Lily justified. 'How d'ye do, Crosbie? One doesn't often see you on horseback or on foot either.'
'I've something to do besides going to look or to be looked at,' said Crosbie. Then he raised his eyes and saw Lily's side-face, and recognised her. Had he seen her before he had been stopped on his way Ithink he would have passed on, endeavouring to escape observation. But as it was, his feet had been arrested before he knew of her close vicinity, and now it would seen that he was afraid of her, and was flying from her, were he at once to walk off, leaving his friend behind him. And he knew that she had seen him, and had recognised him, and was now suffering from his presence. He could not but perceive that it was so from the fixedness of her face, and from the constrained manner in which she gazed before her. His friend Fowler Pratt had never seen Miss Dale, though he knew very much of her history. Siph Dunn knew nothing of the history of Crosbie and his love, and was unaware that he and Lily had ever seen each other. There was thus no help near her to extricate her from her difficulty.
'When a man has any work to do in the world,' said Siph, 'he always boasts of it to his acquaintance, and curses his luck to himself. I have nothing to do and can go about to see and be seen;--and I must own that I like it.'
Crosbie was still looking at Lily. He could not help himself. He could not take his eyes from off her. He could see that she was as pretty as ever, that she was but very little altered. She was, in truth, somewhat stouter than in the old days, but of that he took no special notice.
Should he speak to her? Should he try to catch her eye, and then raise his hat? Should he go up to her horse's head boldly, and ask her to let bygones be bygones? He had an idea that of all courses which he could pursue that was the one which she would approve the best--which would be most efficacious for him, if with her anything from him might have any efficacy. But he could not do it. He did not know what words he might best use. Would it become him humbly to sue to her for pardon? Or should he strive to express his unaltered love by some tone of his voice? Or should he simply ask her after her health? He made one step towards her, and he saw that the face became more rigid and more fixed than before, and then he desisted. He told himself that he was simply hateful to her.
He thought that he could perceive that there was no tenderness mixed with her unabated anger.
At this moment Bernard Dale and Emily came close upon him, and Bernard saw him at once. It was through Bernard that Lily and Crosbie had come to know each other. He and Bernard Dale had been fast friends in old times, and had, of course, been bitter enemies since the day of Crosbie's treachery. They had never spoken since, though they had often seen each other, and Dale was not at all disposed to speak to him now.
The moment that he recognised Crosbie he looked across to his cousin.
For an instant, an idea flashed across him that he was there by her permission--with her assent; but it required no second glance to show him that this was not the case. 'Dunn,' he said, 'I think we will ride on,' and he put his horse into a trot. Siph, whose ear was very accurate, and who knew that something was wrong, trotted on with him, and Lily, of course, was not left behind. 'Is there anything the matter?' said Emily to her lover.
'Nothing specially the matter,' he replied; 'but you were standing in company with the greatest blackguard that every lived, and I thought we had better change our ground.'