ADRIFT.
Gibbie was now without a home.He had had a whole city for his dwelling, every street of which had been to him as another hall in his own house, every lane as a passage from one set of rooms to another, every court as a closet, every house as a safe, guarding the only possessions he had, the only possessions he knew how to value--his fellow-mortals, radiant with faces, and friendly with hands and tongues.Great as was his delight in freedom, a delight he revelled in from morning to night, and sometimes from night to morning, he had never had a notion of it that reached beyond the city, he never longed for larger space, for wider outlook.Space and outlook he had skyward--and seaward when he would, but even into these regions he had never yet desired to go.His world was the world of men; the presence of many was his greater room; his people themselves were his world.He had no idea of freedom in dissociation with human faces and voices and eyes.But now he had left all these, and as he ran from them a red pall seemed settling down behind him, wrapping up and hiding away his country, his home.
For the first time in his life, the fatherless, motherless, brotherless, sisterless stray of the streets felt himself alone.
The sensation was an awful one.He had lost so many, and had not one left! That gash in Sambo's black throat had slain "a whole cityful." His loneliness grew upon him, until again he darted aside from the road into the bush, this time to hide from the Spectre of the Desert--the No Man.Deprived of human countenances, the face of creation was a mask without eyes, and liberty a mere negation.Not that Gibbie had ever thought about liberty; he had only enjoyed: not that he had ever thought about human faces; he had only loved them, and lived upon their smiles."Gibbie wadna need to gang to h'aven,"said Mysie, the baker's daughter, to her mother, one night, as they walked home from a merry-making."What for that, lassie?" returned her mother."Cause he wad be meeserable whaur there was nae drunk fowk," answered Mysie.And now it seemed to the poor, shocked, heart-wounded creature, as if the human face were just the one thing he could no more look upon.One haunted him, the black one, with the white, staring eyes, the mouth in its throat, and the white grinning teeth.
It was a cold, fresh morning, cloudy and changeful, towards the end of April.It had rained, and would rain again; it might snow.
Heavy undefined clouds, with saffron breaks and borders, hung about the east, but what was going to happen there--at least he did not think; he did not know east from west, and I doubt whether, although he had often seen the sun set, he had ever seen him rise.Yet even to him, city-creature as he was, it was plain something was going to happen there.And happen it did presently, and that with a splendour that for a moment blinded Gibbie.For just at the horizon there was a long horizontal slip of blue sky, and through that crack the topmost arc of the rising sun shot suddenly a thousand arrows of radiance into the brain of the boy.But the too-much light scorched there a blackness instantly; and to the soul of Gibbie it was the blackness of the room from which he had fled, and upon it out came the white eyeballs and the brilliant teeth of his dead Sambo, and the red burst from his throat that answered the knife of the Malay.
He shrieked, and struck with his hands against the sun from which came the terrible vision.Had he been a common child, his reason would have given way; but one result of the overflow of his love was, that he had never yet known fear for himself.His sweet confident face, innocent eyes, and caressing ways, had almost always drawn a response more or less in kind; and that certain some should not repel him, was a fuller response from them than gifts from others.Except now and then, rarely, a street boy a little bigger than himself, no one had ever hurt him, and the hurt upon these occasions had not gone very deep, for the child was brave and hardy.
So now it was not fear, but the loss of old confidence, a sickness coming over the heart and brain of his love, that unnerved him.It was not the horrid cruelty to his friend, and his own grievous loss thereby, but the recoil of his loving endeavour that, jarring him out of every groove of thought, every socket of habit, every joint of action, cast him from the city, and made of him a wanderer indeed, not a wanderer in a strange country, but a wanderer in a strange world.
To no traveller could one land well be so different from another, as to Gibbie the country was from the town.He had seen bushes and trees before, but only over garden walls, or in one or two of the churchyards.He had looked from the quay across to the bare shore on the other side, with its sandy hills, and its tall lighthouse on the top of the great rocks that bordered the sea; but, so looking, he had beheld space as one looking from this world into the face of the moon, as a child looks upon vastness and possible dangers from his nurse's arms where it cannot come near him; for houses backed the quay all along; the city was behind him, and spread forth her protecting arms.He had, once or twice, run out along the pier, which shot far into the immensity of the sea, like a causeway to another world--a stormy thread of granite, beaten upon both sides by the waves of the German Ocean; but it was with the sea and not the country he then made the small acquaintance--and that not without terror.The sea was as different from the city as the air into which he had looked up at night--too different to compare against it and feel the contrast; on neither could he set foot; in neither could he be required to live and act--as now in this waste of enterable and pervious extent.