书城公版THE CONFESSIONS
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第103章 [1736](11)

To complete me, I had mingled a little physiology among my other readings: I set about studying anatomy, and considering the multitude, movement, and wonderful construction of the various parts that compose the human machine; my apprehensions were instantly increased, Iexpected to feel mine deranged twenty times a day, and far from being surprised to find myself dying, was astonished that I yet existed! I could not read the description of any malady without thinking it mine, and, had I not been already indisposed, I am certain I should have become so from this study.Finding in every disease symptoms similar to mine, I fancied I had them all, and, at length, gained one more troublesome than any I yet suffered, which I had thought myself delivered from; this was, a violent inclination to seek a cure; which it is very difficult to suppress, when once a person begins reading physical books.By searching, reflecting, and comparing, I became persuaded that the foundation of my complaint was a polypus at the heart, and Doctor Salomon appeared to coincide with the idea.Reasonably this opinion should have confirmed my former resolution of considering myself past cure; this, however, was not the case; on the contrary, I exerted every power of my understanding in search of a remedy for a polypus, resolving to undertake this marvelous cure.

In a journey which Anet had made to Montpellier, to see the physical garden there, and visit Monsieur Sauvages, the demonstrator, he had been informed that Monsieur Fizes had cured a polypus similar to that I fancied myself afflicted with.Madam de Warrens, recollecting this circumstance, mentioned it to me, and nothing more was necessary to inspire me with a desire to consult Monsieur Fizes.The hope of recovery gave me courage and strength to undertake the journey; the money from Geneva furnished the means; Madam de Warrens, far from dissuading, entreated me to go: behold me, therefore, without further ceremony, set out for Montpellier!- but it was not necessary to go so far to find the cure I was in search of.

Finding the motion of the horse too fatiguing, I had hired a chaise at Grenoble, and on entering Moirans, five or six other chaises arrived in a rank after mine.The greater part of these were in the train of a new married lady called Madam du Colombier; with her was a Madam de Larnage, not so young or handsome as the former, yet not less amiable.The bride was to stop at Romans, but the other lady was to pursue her route as far as Saint-Andiol, near the bridge du St.

Esprit.With my natural timidity it will not be conjectured that I was very ready at forming an acquaintance with these fine ladies, and the company that attended them; but traveling the same road, lodging at the same inns, and being obliged to eat at the same table, the acquaintance seemed unavoidable, as any backwardness on my part would have got me the character of a very unsociable being: it was formed then, and even sooner than I desired, for all this bustle was by no means convenient to a person in ill health, particularly to one of my humor.Curiosity renders these vixens extremely insinuating;they accomplish their design of becoming acquainted with a man by endeavoring to turn his brain, and this was precisely what happened to me.Madam du Colombier was too much surrounded by her young gallants to have any opportunity of paying much attention to me; beside, it was not worth while, as we were to separate in so short a time; but Madam de Larnage (less attended to than her young friend) had to provide herself for the remainder of the journey.Behold me, then, attacked by Madam de Larnage, and adieu to poor Jean Jacques, or rather farewell to fever, vapors, and polypus; all completely vanished when in her presence.The ill state of my health was the first subject of our conversation; they saw I was indisposed, knew I was going to Montpellier, but my air and manner certainly did not exhibit the appearance of a libertine, since it was clear by what followed they did not suspect I was going there for a trip to the stewing-pan (to be placed in a vapor-bath, a cure for a dangerous venereal disease).

Though a man's sick condition is no great recommendation for him among women, still it made me an object of interest for them in this case.

Once (according to my praiseworthy custom of speaking without thought) I replied, "I did not know," which answer naturally made them conclude I was a fool; but on questioning me further, the examination turned out so far to my advantage, that I rather rose in their opinion, and I once heard Madam du Colombier say to her friend, "He is amiable, but not sufficiently acquainted with the world."As we became more familiar, it was natural to give each other some little account of whence we came and who we were: this embarrassed me greatly, for I was sensible that in good company and among women of spirit, the very name of a new convert would utterly undo me.I know not by what whimsicality I resolved to pass for an Englishman;however, in consequence of that determination I gave myself out for a Jacobite, and was readily believed.They called me Monsieur Dudding, which was the name I assumed with my new character, and a cursed Marquis Torignan, who was one of the company, an invalid like myself, and both old and ill-tempered, took it in his head to begin a long conversation with me.He spoke of King James, of the Pretender, and the old court of St.Germain's; I sat on thorns the whole time, for I was totally unacquainted with all these except what little I had picked up in the account of Earl Hamilton, and from the gazettes;however, I made such fortunate use of the little I did know, as to extricate myself from this dilemma, happy in not being questioned on the English language, which I did not know a single word of.