Two days afterwards, about nine o'clock in the evening, as I was going to sup with Madam d'Epinay, I perceived a hackney-coach pass by the door.Somebody within made a sign to me to approach.I did so, and got into it, and found the person to be Diderot.He spoke of the pension with more warmth than, upon such a subject, I should have expected from a philosopher.He did not blame me for having been unwilling to be presented to the king, but severely reproached me with my indifference about the pension.He observed that although on my own account I might be disinterested, I ought not to be so on that of Madam Vasseur and her daughter; that it was my duty to seize every means of providing for their subsistence; and that as, after all, it could not be said I had refused the pension, he maintained Iought, since the king seemed disposed to grant it to me, to solicit and obtain it by one means or another.Although I was obliged to him for his good wishes, I could not relish his maxims, which produced a warm dispute, the first I ever had with him.All our disputes were of this kind, he prescribing to me what he pretended I ought do, and Idefending myself because I was of a different opinion.
It was late when we parted.I would have taken him to supper at Madam d'Epinay's, but he refused to go; and, notwithstanding all the efforts which at different times the desire of uniting those I love induced me to make, to prevail upon him to see her, even that of conducting her to his door which he kept shut against us, he constantly refused to do it, and never spoke of her but with the utmost contempt.It was not until after I had quarreled with both that they became acquainted and that he began to speak honorably of her.
From this time Diderot and Grimm seemed to have undertaken to alienate from me the governesses, by giving them to understand that if they were not in easy circumstances the fault was my own, and that they never would be so with me.They endeavored to prevail on them to leave me, promising them the privilege for retailing salt, a snuff shop, and I know not what other advantages by means of the influence of Madam d'Epinay.They likewise wished to gain over Duclos and d'Holbach, but the former constantly refused their proposals.I had at the time some intimation of what was going forward, but I was not fully acquainted with the whole until long afterwards; and I frequently had reason to lament the effects of the blind and indiscreet zeal of my friends, who, in my ill state of health, striving to reduce me to the most melancholy solitude, endeavored, as they imagined, to render me happy by the means which, of all others, were the most proper to make me miserable.
In the carnival following the conclusion of the year 1753, the Devin was performed at Paris, and in this interval I had sufficient time to compose the overture and divertissement.This divertissement, such as it stands engraved, was to be in action from the beginning to the end, and in a continued subject, which in my opinion, afforded very agreeable representations.But when I proposed this idea at the opera-house, nobody would so much as hearken to me, and I was obliged to tack together music and dances in the usual manner: on this account the divertissement, although full of charming ideas which do not diminish the beauty of scenes, succeeded but very middlingly.Isuppressed the recitative of Jelyotte, and substituted my own, such as I had first composed it, and as it is now engraved; and this recitative a little after the French manner, I confess, drawled out, instead of pronounced by the actors, far from shocking the ears of any person, equally succeeded with the airs, and seemed in the judgment of the public to possess as much musical merit.I dedicated my piece to Duclos, who had given it his protection, and declared it should be my only dedication.I have, however, with his consent, written a second; but he must have thought himself more honored by the exception, than if I had not written a dedication to any person.
I could relate many anecdotes concerning this piece, but things of greater importance prevent me from entering into a detail of them at present.I shall perhaps resume the subject in a supplement.There is however one which I cannot omit, as it relates to the greater part of what is to follow.I one day examined the music of d'Holbach, in his closet.After having looked over many different kinds, he said, showing me a collection of pieces for the harpsichord:
"These were composed for me; they are full of taste and harmony, and unknown to everybody but myself.You ought to make a selection from them for your divertissement." Having in my head more subjects of airs and symphonies than I could make use of, I was not the least anxious to have any of his.However, he pressed me so much, that, from a motive of complaisance, I chose a Pastoral, which I abridged and converted into a trio, for the entry of the companions of Colette.
Some months afterwards, and whilst the Devin still continued to be performed, going into Grimm's I found several people about his harpsichord, whence he hastily rose on my arrival.As I accidentally looked towards his music stand, I there saw the same collection of the Baron d'Holbach, opened precisely at the piece he had prevailed upon me to take, assuring me at the same time that it should never go out of his hands.Some time afterwards, I again saw the collection open on the harpsichord of M.d'Epinay, one day when he gave a little concert.
Neither Grimm, nor anybody else, ever spoke to me of the air, and my reason for mentioning it here is that some time afterwards, a rumor was spread that I was not the author of Devin.As I never made a great progress in the practical part, I am persuaded that had it not been for my dictionary of music, it would in the end have been said I did not understand composition.** I little suspected this would be said of me, notwithstanding my dictionary.