书城公版THE CONFESSIONS
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第256章 [1762](5)

Thinking the governor had forgotten what I had said to him, I againspoke of the business before we sat down to table, but stillreceived no answer.I thought this manner of ****** me feel I wasimportunate rather severe, and, pitying the poor man in waiting,held my tongue.On my return the next day I was much surprised atthe thanks he returned me for the good dinner his excellency had givenhim after receiving his paper.Three weeks afterwards his lordshipsent him the rescript he had solicited, dispatched by the minister,and signed by the king, and this without having said a word eitherto myself or Sandoz concerning the business, about which I thoughthe did not choose to give himself the least concern.

I could wish incessantly to speak of George Keith; from him proceedsmy recollection of the last happy moments I have enjoyed; the restof my life, since our separation, has been passed in affliction andgrief of heart.The remembrance of this is so melancholy andconfused that it was impossible for me to observe the least order inwhat I write, so that in future I shall be under the necessity ofstating facts without giving them a regular arrangement.

I was soon relieved from my inquietude arising from theuncertainty of my asylum, by the answer from his majesty to the lordmarshal, in whom, as it will readily be believed, I had found anable advocate.The king not only approved of what he had done, butdesired him, for I must relate everything, to give me twelve louis.

The good old man, rather embarrassed by the commission, and notknowing how to execute it properly, endeavored to soften the insult bytransforming the money into provisions, and writing to me that hehad received orders to furnish me with wood and coal to begin mylittle establishment; he moreover added, and perhaps from himself,that his majesty would willingly build me a little house, such a oneas I should choose to have, provided I would fix upon the ground.Iwas extremely sensible of the kindness of the last offer, which mademe forget the weakness of the other.Without accepting either, Iconsidered Frederic as my benefactor and protector, and became sosincerely attached to him, that from that moment I interested myselfas much in his glory as until then I had thought his successes unjust.

At the peace he made soon after, I expressed my joy by an illuminationin a very good taste: it was a string of garlands, with which Idecorated the house I inhabited, and in which, it is true, I had thevindictive haughtiness to spend almost as much money as he hadwished to give me.The peace ratified, I thought as he was at thehighest pinnacle of military and political fame, he would think ofacquiring that of another nature, by reanimating his states,encouraging in them commerce and agriculture, creating a new soil,covering it with a new people, maintaining peace amongst hisneighbors, and becoming the arbitrator, after having been theterror, of Europe.He was in a situation to sheath his sword withoutdanger, certain that no sovereign would oblige him again to draw it.

Perceiving he did not disarm, I was afraid he would profit butlittle by the advantages he had gained, and that he would be greatonly by halves.I dared to write to him upon the subject, and with afamiliarity of a nature to please men of his character, conveying tohim the sacred voice of truth, which but few kings are worthy to hear.

The liberty I took was a secret between him and myself.I did notcommunicate it even to the lord marshal, to whom I sent my letter tothe king sealed up.His lordship forwarded my dispatch withoutasking what it contained.His majesty returned me no answer, and themarshal going soon after to Berlin, the king told him he hadreceived from me a scolding.By this I understood my letter had beenill received, and that the frankness of my zeal had been mistakenfor the rusticity of a pedant.In fact, this might possibly be thecase; perhaps I did not say what was necessary, nor in the mannerproper to the occasion.All I can answer for is the sentiment whichinduced me to take up my pen.

Shortly after my establishment at Motiers, Travers having everypossible assurance that I should be suffered to remain there in peace,I took the Armenian habit.This was not the first time I had thoughtof doing it.I had formerly had the same intention, particularly atMontmorency, where the frequent use of probes often obliging me tokeep my chamber, made me more clearly perceive the advantages of along robe.The convenience of an Armenian tailor, who frequentlycame to see a relation he had at Montmorency, almost tempted me todetermine on taking this new dress, troubling myself but littleabout what the world would say of it.Yet, before I concluded upon thematter, I wished to take the opinion of M.de Luxembourg, whoimmediately advised me to follow my inclination.I thereforeprocured a little Armenian wardrobe, but on account of the stormraised against me, I was induced to postpone ****** use of it untilI should enjoy tranquillity, and it was not until some monthsafterwards that, forced by new attacks of my disorder, I thought Icould properly, and without the least risk, put on my new dress atMotiers, especially after having consulted the pastor of the place,who told me I might wear it even in the temple without indecency.Ithen adopted the waistcoat, caffetan, fur bonnet, and girdle; andafter having in this dress attended divine service, I saw noimpropriety in going in it to visit his lordship.His excellency, onseeing me clothed in this manner, made me no other compliment thanthat which consisted in saying "Salaam alek," i.e., "Peace be withyou;" the common Turkish salutation; after which nothing more was saidupon the subject, and I continued to wear my new dress.