书城公版THE CONFESSIONS
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第28章 [1712-1728](28)

Though I lived with the strictest economy, my purse insensibly grew lighter.This economy was, however, less the effect of prudence than that love of simplicity, which, even to this day, the use of the most expensive tables has not been able to vitiate.Nothing in my idea, either at that time or since, could exceed a rustic repast;give me milk, vegetables, eggs, and brown bread, with tolerable wine, and I shall always think myself sumptuously regaled; a good appetite will furnish out the rest, if the maitre d'hotel, with a number of unnecessary footmen, do not satiate me with their important attentions.Six or seven sous would then procure me a more agreeable meal than as many francs would have done since; I was abstemious, therefore, for want of a temptation to be otherwise;though I do not know but I am wrong to call this abstinence, for with my pears, new cheese, bread, and some glasses of Montferrat wine, which you might have cut with a knife, I was the greatest of epicures.

Notwithstanding my expenses were very moderate, it was possible to see the end of twenty francs; I was every day more convinced of this, and, spite of the giddiness of youth, my apprehensions for the future amounted almost to terror.All my castles in the air were vanished, and I became sensible of the necessity of seeking some occupation that would procure me a subsistence.

Even this was a work of difficulty: I thought of my engraving, but knew too little of it to be employed as a journeyman, nor do masters abound at Turin; I resolved, therefore, till something better presented itself, to go from shop to shop, offering to engrave ciphers, or coats of arms, on pieces of plate, etc., and hoped to get employment by working at a low price, or taking what they chose to give me.Even this expedient did not answer my expectation; almost all my applications were ineffectual, the little I procured being hardly sufficient to produce a few scanty meals.

Walking one morning pretty early in the Contranova, I saw a young tradeswoman behind a counter, whose looks were so charmingly attractive that, notwithstanding my timidity with the ladies, Ientered the shop without hesitation, offered my service as usual, and had the happiness to have it accepted.She made me sit down and relate my little history; pitied my forlorn situation; bade me be cheerful, and endeavored to make me so by an assurance that every good Christian would give me assistance; then (while she sent to a goldsmith's in the neighborhood for some tools I had occasion for) she went up stairs and fetched me something for breakfast.This seemed a promising beginning, nor was what followed less flattering: she was satisfied with my work, and, when I had a little recovered myself, still more with my discourse.She was rather elegantly dressed, and notwithstanding her gentle looks this appearance of gayety had disconcerted me; but her good nature, the compassionate tone of her voice, with her gentle and caressing manner, soon set me at ease with myself: I saw my endeavors to please were crowned with success, and this assurance made me succeed the more.Though an Italian, and too pretty to be entirely devoid of coquetry, she had so much modesty, and I so great a share of timidity, that our adventure was not likely to be brought to a very speedy conclusion, nor did they give us time to make any good of it.I cannot recall the few short moments Ipassed with this lovely woman without being sensible of an inexpressible charm, and can yet say, it was there I tasted in their utmost perfection the most delightful, as well as the purest, pleasures of love.

She was a lively pleasing brunette, and the good nature that was painted on her lovely face rendered her vivacity more interesting.She was called Madam Basile; her husband, who was considerably older than herself, consigned her, during his absence, to the care of a clerk, too disagreeable to be thought dangerous; but who, notwithstanding, had pretensions that he seldom showed any signs of, except of ill-humors, a good share of which he bestowed on me;though I was pleased to hear him play the flute, on which he was a tolerable musician.This second Egistus was sure to grumble whenever he saw me go into his mistress' apartment, treating me with a degree of disdain which she took care to repay him with interest; seeming pleased to caress me in his presence, on purpose to torment him.

This kind of revenge, though perfectly to my taste, would have been still more charming in a tete-a-tete, but she did not proceed so far; at least there was a difference in the expression of her kindness.Whether she thought me too young, that it was my place to make advances, or that she was seriously resolved to be virtuous, she had at such times a kind of reserve, which though not absolutely discouraging, kept my passion within bounds.