Where have you learnt that answer? Who am I?
VENTIDIUS. My emperor; the man I love next Heaven:
If I said more, I think 'twere scare a sin:
You're all that's good, and god-like.
ANTONY. All that's wretched.
You will not leave me then?
VENTIDIUS. 'Twas too presuming To say I would not; but I dare not leave you:
And, 'tis unkind in you to chide me hence So soon, when I so far have come to see you.
ANTONY. Now thou hast seen me, art thou satisfied?
For, if a friend, thou hast beheld enough;And, if a foe, too much.
VENTIDIUS. Look, emperor, this is no common dew.
[Weeping.]
I have not wept this forty years; but now My mother comes afresh into my eyes;I cannot help her softness.
ANTONY. By heavens, he weeps! poor good old man, he weeps!
The big round drops course one another down The furrows of his cheeks.--Stop them, Ventidius, Or I shall blush to death, they set my shame, That caused them, full before me.
VENTIDIUS. I'll do my best.
ANTONY. Sure there's contagion in the tears of friends:
See, I have caught it too. Believe me, 'tis not For my own griefs, but thine.--Nay, father!
VENTIDIUS. Emperor.
ANTONY. Emperor! Why, that's the style of victory;The conqu'ring soldier, red with unfelt wounds, Salutes his general so; but never more Shall that sound reach my ears.
VENTIDIUS. I warrant you.
ANTONY. Actium, Actium! Oh!--
VENTIDIUS. It sits too near you.
ANTONY. Here, here it lies a lump of lead by day, And, in my short, distracted, nightly slumbers, The hag that rides my dreams.--VENTIDIUS. Out with it; give it vent.
ANTONY. Urge not my shame.
I lost a battle,--
VENTIDIUS. So has Julius done.
ANTONY. Thou favour'st me, and speak'st not half thou think'st;For Julius fought it out, and lost it fairly.
But Antony--
VENTIDIUS. Nay, stop not.
ANTONY. Antony--
Well, thou wilt have it,--like a coward, fled, Fled while his soldiers fought; fled first, Ventidius.
Thou long'st to curse me, and I give thee leave.
I know thou cam'st prepared to rail.
VENTIDIUS. I did.
ANTONY. I'll help thee.--I have been a man, Ventidius.
VENTIDIUS. Yes, and a brave one! but--
ANTONY. I know thy meaning.
But I have lost my reason, have disgraced The name of soldier, with inglorious ease.
In the full vintage of my flowing honours, Sat still, and saw it prest by other hands.
Fortune came smiling to my youth, and wooed it, And purple greatness met my ripened years.
When first I came to empire, I was borne On tides of people, crowding to my triumphs;The wish of nations, and the willing world Received me as its pledge of future peace;I was so great, so happy, so beloved, Fate could not ruin me; till I took pains, And worked against my fortune, child her from me, And returned her loose; yet still she came again.
My careless days, and my luxurious nights, At length have wearied her, and now she's gone, Gone, gone, divorced for ever. Help me, soldier, To curse this madman, this industrious fool, Who laboured to be wretched: Pr'ythee, curse me.
VENTIDIUS. No.
ANTONY. Why?
VENTIDIUS. You are too sensible already Of what you've done, too conscious of your failings;And, like a scorpion, whipt by others first To fury, sting yourself in mad revenge.
I would bring balm, and pour it in your wounds, Cure your distempered mind, and heal your fortunes.
ANTONY. I know thou would'st.
VENTIDIUS. I will.
ANTONY. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
VENTIDIUS. You laugh.
ANTONY. I do, to see officious love.
Give cordials to the dead.
VENTIDIUS. You would be lost, then?
ANTONY. I am.
VENTIDIUS. I say you are not. Try your fortune.
ANTONY. I have, to the utmost. Dost thou think me desperate, Without just cause? No, when I found all lost Beyond repair, I hid me from the world, And learnt to scorn it here; which now I do So heartily, I think it is not worth The cost of keeping.
VENTIDIUS. Caesar thinks not so;
He'll thank you for the gift he could not take.
You would be killed like Tully, would you? do, Hold out your throat to Caesar, and die tamely.
ANTONY. No, I can kill myself; and so resolve.
VENTIDIUS. I can die with you too, when time shall serve;But fortune calls upon us now to live, To fight, to conquer.
ANTONY. Sure thou dream'st, Ventidius.
VENTIDIUS. No; 'tis you dream; you sleep away your hours In desperate sloth, miscalled philosophy.
Up, up, for honour's sake; twelve legions wait you, And long to call you chief: By painful journeys I led them, patient both of heat and hunger, Down form the Parthian marches to the Nile.
'Twill do you good to see their sunburnt faces, Their scarred cheeks, and chopt hands: there's virtue in them.
They'll sell those mangled limbs at dearer rates Than yon trim bands can buy.
ANTONY. Where left you them?
VENTIDIUS. I said in Lower Syria.
ANTONY. Bring them hither;
There may be life in these.
VENTIDIUS. They will not come.
ANTONY. Why didst thou mock my hopes with promised aids, To double my despair? They're mutinous.
VENTIDIUS. Most firm and loyal.
ANTONY. Yet they will not march To succour me. O trifler!