A friend had an 18yearold son whose habits annoyed his brothers and sisters. When the boy wasnt there， the family often talked about him. At one point， this friend decided to follow the principle of being loyal to those not present. When such conversations developed， he gently interrupted and said something good that he had observed his son doing. Soon the conversation would shift to more interesting subjects.
学会忠诚。
当家庭成员不在时，做到忠诚，也是一种重要“存款”方式，仅次于道歉。换言之，谈论其他人时，就要当他们在场一样。这样做并不表示你对他们的缺点一无所知。而是说你主要谈他们的优点，谈起他们的缺点时，要采用这种方式，即你所谈的人无意中听到你说的话，你也可以感到问心无愧。
我朋友有个18岁的儿子，他的生活习惯令他的兄弟姐妹很讨厌。当那个男孩不在家时，家人常常谈论他。然而这个朋友决定采取对不在说话现场的家庭成员做到忠诚的原则。这样的议论进一步发展时，他委婉地打断谈话，并讲了他亲眼看见儿子做的一件好事。很快讨论转向更有趣的话题。
Our friend said he soon felt that the others began to connect with this principle of family loyalty. They realized that hed also defend them if they were not present. And in some unexplainable manner—perhaps because he started seeing his son differently—this change improved his Emotional Bank Account.
Make and keep promises.
Over the years people have asked if I had one simple idea that would help others cope with problem， seize opportunities and make their lives successful. I gave a fourword answer： “make and keep promises.”
My daughter， Cynthia， recalls something that happened when she was 12 years old： Dad promised to take me with him on a business trip to San Francisco. We talked about the trip for months. After his meeting， we planned to take a cab to Chinatown and have our favorite food and see movie， I was dying with expectation.
那个朋友说他不久发现，其他人把忠实于家庭成员的原则与自己联系在一起，他们认识到如果他们不在场时，他也会为他们说话。难以解释这是为什么，也许是因为他开始从不同角度来看他的那个儿子，这一变化增加了他的感情账户储蓄。
做出承诺，并要兑现。
这些年来，人们一直问我是否有一些能帮他们处理问题、抓住机遇、使他们的生活美满幸福的简单主意。我给出四个字的回答：“承诺，兑现。”
我女儿辛西娅，回想起她12岁时发生的一件事：“爸爸答应在他去旧金山出差时带上我。这次旅行我们讨论个几个月的时间。他开完会后，我们打算坐出租车去唐人街，吃我们最爱吃的风味小吃，然后去看电影。我对这次旅行很是期待。
“The day finally arrived. The hours draggeddrag v.拖， 拖曳， 缓慢而费力地行动 by as I waited for Dad to finish work. At about 6∶30， he arrived with an influentialinfluential adj.有影响的， 有势力的 business acquaintance who wanted to take us to dinner. My disappointment was bigger than life.
“I will never forget Dad saying to him， ‘Id love to see you， but this is a special time with my girl. Weve got it planned to the minute.’ We did everything. That was just about the happiest time of my life. I dont think any young girl ever loved her father as much as I loved mine that night.” Im convinced that you would be hard pressed to come up with a depositdeposit n.堆积物， 沉淀物， 存款， 押金， 保证金， 存放物 that has more impactimpact n.碰撞， 冲击， 冲突， 影响， 效果 in the family than making and keeping promises.
“终于到了这一天。我在等爸爸完成工作时觉得时间过得很慢。大约6∶30分，他回来了，还带了位很有影响力的、生意上的熟人，那人想请我们吃饭，这让我大失所望。
“我无法忘却爸爸对他说的话：‘我很愿意接受您的邀请，不过我和女儿今晚有活动，我们已经做好了详细的安排。’那天我们玩得很尽兴。那是我生命中最快乐的时光。我想没有任何一个女儿像我那晚那般爱我的爸爸。”我深信：对于家人的承诺并兑现，这种感情储蓄对家庭的影响深远。
Dont forget to forgive.
For many， the ultimate deposit to the Emotional Bank Account comes in forgiving. When you forgive， you open the channels for trust and unconditionalunconditional adj.无条件的， 绝对的， 无限制的 love. You cleanse your heart. You also remove a major obstacle that keeps others from changing—because when you dont forgive， you put yourself between people and their conscience. Instead of spending their energy on work with their own conscience， they spend it defending and justifying their behavior to you.
As you begin to make deposits in the Emotional Bank Account， you may see positive results immediately. More often it will take weeks， months， even years. But results will come， and you will be astonished at the change.
切记要宽恕别人。
对很多人来说，感情储蓄中最重要的投入是宽恕。只有宽恕，你才会打开信任的渠道，才会有无条件的爱。这样你会变得心地纯洁，也去除了阻碍别人改变的巨大障碍，因为当你不原谅别人时，你实际是在阻碍别人认识到自己的不对之处。这就会使他们总为自己的不对找出理由来辩护，而不去想想自己是否有错。
当你开始在感情银行“存款”，很快你就可以看到实际的结果。但多数情况下，它需要经过数周、数月甚至数年时间，但总会有成果的。而且你会为这一变化而感到惊奇。
金钱通过储蓄能够增值，感情同样能够。收藏点点滴滴的感情，就会拥有人生中美好的感动。相信看过这篇文章后，我们现在都会在这一点上有所触动。让我们现在开始，建立自己的感情银行，学着一点点地储蓄吧，必定会有令人惊喜的收获。