书城外语人性的弱点全集(英文朗读版)
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第70章 PART 7How to Break the Worry Habit Before It Break

Years later,when Franklin was a world-famous figure,and Ambassador to France,he still remembered that the fact that he had paid too much for his whistle had caused him “more chagrin than the whistle gave him pleasure.”

But the lesson it taught Franklin was cheap in the end.“As I grew up,”he said,“and came into the world and observed the actions of men,I thought I met with many,very many,who gave too much for the whistle.In short,I conceive that a great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by the false estimates they have made of the value of things,and by their giving too much for their whistles.

Gilbert and Sullivan paid too much for their whistle.So did Aunt Edith.So did Dale Carnegie—on many occasions.And so did the immortal Leo Tolstoy,author of two of the world’s greatest novels,War and Peace and Anna Karenina.According to The Encyclopedia Britannica,Leo Tolstoy was,during the last twenty years of his life,“probably the most venerated man in the whole world.”For twenty years before he died—from 1890to 1910—an unending stream of admirers made pilgrimages to his home in order to catch a glimpse of his face,to hear the sound of his voice,or even touch the hem of his garment.Every sentence he uttered was taken down in a notebook,almost as if it were a “divine revelation”.But when it came to living—to ordinary living—well,Tolstoy had even less sense at seventy than Franklin had at seven!He had no sense at all.

Here’s what I mean.Tolstoy married a girl he loved very dearly.In fact,they were so happy together that they used to get on their knees and pray to God to let them continue their lives in such sheer,heavenly ecstasy.But the girl Tolstoy married was jealousby nature.She used to dress herself up as a peasant and spy on his movements,even out in the woods.They had fearful rows.She became so jealous,even of her own children,that she grabbed a gun and shot a hole in her daughter’s photograph.She even rolled on the floor with an opium bottle held to her lips,and threatened to commit suicide,while the children huddled in a corner of the room and screamed with terror.

And what did Tolstoy do?Well,I don’t blame the man for up and smashing the furniture—he had good provocation.But he did far worse than that.He kept a private diary!Yes,a diary,in which he placed all the blame on his wife!That was his “whistle”!He was determined to make sure that coming generations would exonerate him and put the blame on his wife.And what did his wife do,in answer to this?Why,she tore pages out of his diary and burned them,of course.She started a diary of her own,in which she made him the villain.She even wrote a novel,entitled Whose Fault?in which she depicted her husband as a household fiend and herself as a martyr.

All to what end?Why did these two people turn the only home they had into what Tolstoy himself called “a lunatic asylum”?Obviously,there were several reasons.One of those reasons was their burning desire to impress you and me.Yes,we are the posterity whose opinion they were worried about!Do we give a hoot in Hades about which one was to blame?No,we are too concerned with our own problems to waste a minute thinking about the Tolstoy’s.What a price these two wretched people paid for their whistle!Fifty years of living in a veritable hell—just because neither of them had the sense to say:“Stop!”Because neither of them had enough judgment of values to say:“Let’s put a stoploss order on this thing instantly.We are squandering our lives.Let’s say ‘Enough’now!”

Yes,I honestly believe that this is one of the greatest secrets to true peace of mind—a decent sense of values.And I believe we could annihilate fifty per cent of all our worries at once if we would develop a sort of private gold standard—a gold standard of what things are worth to us in terms of our lives.

So,to break the worry habit before it breaks you,here is Rule 5:

Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bad in terms of human living,let’s stop and ask ourselves these three Questions:

1.How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me?

2.At what point shall I set a “stop-loss”order on this worry—and forget it?

3.Exactly how much shall I pay for this whistle?Have I already paid more than it is worth?

Chapter 41

Don’t Try To Saw Sawdust

As I write this sentence,I can look out of my window and see some dinosaur tracks in my gardendinosaur tracks embedded in shale and stone.I purchased those dinosaur tracks from the Peabody Museum of Yale University;and I have a letter from the curator of the Peabody Museum,saying that those tracks were made 180million years ago.Even a Mongolian idiot wouldn’t dream of trying to go back 180million years to change those tracks.Yet that would not be any more foolish than worrying because we can’t go back and change what happened 180seconds ago—and a lot of us are doing just that To be sure,we may do something to modify the effects of what happened 180seconds ago;but we can’t possibly change the event that occurred then.

There is only one way on God’s green footstool that the past can be constructive;and that is by calmly analysing our past mistakes and profiting by them—and forgetting them.

I know that is true;but have I always had the courage and sense to do it?To answer that question,let me tell you about a fantastic experience I had years ago.I let more than three hundred thousand dollars slip through my fingers without making a penny’s profit.It happened like this:

I launched a large-scale enterprise in adult education,opened branches in various cities,and spent money lavishly in overhead and advertising.I was so busy with teaching that I had neither the time nor the desire to look after finances.I was too naive to realise that I needed an astute business manager to watch expenses.