Sarah avoided me now, but she and Mary were just inseparable. Ican see now how she was plotting and scheming and poisoning mywife’s mind against me, but I was such a blind beetle that I couldnot understand it at the time. Then I broke my blue ribbon andbegan to drink again, but I think I should not have done it if Maryhad been the same as ever. She had some reason to be disgustedwith me now, and the gap between us began to be wider and wider.
And then this Alec Fairbairn chipped in, and things became athousand times blacker.
“ ‘It was to see Sarah that he came to my house first, but soonit was to see us, for he was a man with winning ways, and hemade friends wherever he went. He was a dashing, swaggeringchap, smart and curled, who had seen half the world and couldtalk of what he had seen. He was good company, I won’t deny it,and he had wonderful polite ways with him for a sailor man, sothat I think there must have been a time when he knew more ofthe poop than the forecastle. For a month he was in and out ofmy house, and never once did it cross my mind that harm mightcome of his soft, tricky ways. And then at last something made mesuspect, and from that day my peace was gone forever.
“ ‘It was only a little thing, too. I had come into the parlourunexpected, and as I walked in at the door I saw a light of welcomeon my wife’s face. But as she saw who it was it faded again, andshe turned away with a look of disappointment. That was enoughfor me. There was no one but Alec Fairbairn whose step she couldhave mistaken for mine. If I could have seen him then I shouldhave killed him, for I have always been like a madman when mytemper gets loose. Mary saw the devil’s light in my eyes, and sheran forward with her hands on my sleeve. “Don’t, Jim, don’t!” saysshe. “Where’s Sarah?” I asked. “In the kitchen,” says she. “Sarah,”
says I as I went in, “this man Fairbairn is never to darken my dooragain.” “Why not?” says she. “Because I order it.” “Oh!” says she,“if my friends are not good enough for this house, then I am notgood enough for it either.” “You can do what you like,” says I, “butif Fairbairn shows his face here again I’ll send you one of his earsfor a keepsake.” She was frightened by my face, I think, for shenever answered a word, and the same evening she left my house.
“ ‘Well, I don’t know now whether it was pure devilry on thepart of this woman, or whether she thought that she could turnme against my wife by encouraging her to misbehave. Anyway,she took a house just two streets off and let lodgings to sailors.
Fairbairn used to stay there, and Mary would go round to havetea with her sister and him. How often she went I don’t know,but I followed her one day, and as I broke in at the door Fairbairngot away over the back garden wall, like the cowardly skunk thathe was. I swore to my wife that I would kill her if I found herin his company again, and I led her back with me, sobbing andtrembling, and as white as a piece of paper. There was no traceof love between us any longer. I could see that she hated me andfeared me, and when the thought of it drove me to drink, then shedespised me as well.
“ ‘Well, Sarah found that she could not make a living inLiverpool, so she went back, as I understand, to live with her sisterin Croydon, and things jogged on much the same as ever at home.
And then came this last week and all the misery and ruin.
“ ‘It was in this way. We had gone on the May Day for a roundvoyage of seven days, but a hogshead got loose and started one ofour plates, so that we had to put back into port for twelve hours. Ileft the ship and came home, thinking what a surprise it would befor my wife, and hoping that maybe she would be glad to see me sosoon. The thought was in my head as I turned into my own street,and at that moment a cab passed me, and there she was, sitting bythe side of Fairbairn, the two chatting and laughing, with never athought for me as I stood watching them from the footpath.
“ ‘I tell you, and I give you my word for it, that from thatmoment I was not my own master, and it is all like a dim dreamwhen I look back on it. I had been drinking hard of late, and thetwo things together fairly turned my brain. There’s somethingthrobbing in my head now, like a docker’s hammer, but thatmorning I seemed to have all Niagara whizzing and buzzing in myears.
“ ‘Well, I took to my heels, and I ran after the cab. I had a heavyoak stick in my hand, and I tell you I saw red from the first; but asI ran I got cunning, too, and hung back a little to see them withoutbeing seen. They pulled up soon at the railway station. There was agood crowd round the booking-office, so I got quite close to themwithout being seen. They took tickets for New Brighton. So did I,but I got in three carriages behind them. When we reached it theywalked along the Parade, and I was never more than a hundredyards from them. At last I saw them hire a boat and start for a row,for it was a very hot day, and they thought, no doubt, that it wouldbe cooler on the water.