GREENWICH,June 6,O.S.1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND:Solicitous and anxious as I have ever been to form your heart,your mind,and your manners,and to bring you as near perfection as the imperfection of our natures will allow,I have exhausted,in the course of our correspondence,all that my own mind could suggest,and have borrowed from others whatever I thought could be useful to you;but this has necessarily been interruptedly and by snatches.It is now time,and you are of an age to review and to weigh in your own mind all that you have heard,and all that you have read,upon these subjects;and to form your own character,your conduct,and your manners,for the rest of your life;allowing for such improvements as a further knowledge of the world will naturally give you.In this view I would recommend to you to read,with the greatest attention,such books as treat particularly of those subjects;reflecting seriously upon them,and then comparing the speculation with the practice.
For example,if you read in the morning some of La Rochefoucault's maxims;consider them,examine them well,and compare them with the real characters you meet with in the evening.Read La Bruyere in the morning,and see in the evening whether his pictures are like.Study the heart and the mind of man,and begin with your own.Meditation and reflection must lay the foundation of that knowledge:but experience and practice must,and alone can,complete it.Books,it is true,point out the operations of the mind,the sentiments of the heart,the influence of the passions;and so far they are of previous use:but without subsequent practice,experience,and observation,they are as ineffectual,and would even lead you into as many errors in fact,as a map would do,if you were to take your notions of the towns and provinces from their delineations in it.A man would reap very little benefit by his travels,if he made them only in his closet upon a map of the whole world.Next to the two books that I have already mentioned,I do not know a better for you to read,and seriously reflect upon,than 'Avis d'une Mere d'un Fils,par la Marquise de Lambert'.She was a woman of a superior understanding and knowledge of the world,had always kept the best company,was solicitous that her son should make a figure and a fortune in the world,and knew better than anybody how to point out the means.It is very short,and will take you much less time to read,than you ought to employ in reflecting upon it,after you have read it.Her son was in the army,she wished he might rise there;but she well knew,that,in order to rise,he must first please:she says to him,therefore,With regard to those upon whom you depend,the chief merit is to please.And,in another place,in subaltern employments,the art of pleasing must be your support.Masters are like mistresses:whatever services they may be indebted to you for,they cease to love when you cease to be agreeable.This,I can assure you,is at least as true in courts as in camps,and possibly more so.