Most people are a mix of optimism and pessimism, but are inclined4 in one direction or the other. It is a pattern of thinking learned at our mothers' knees. It grows out of thousands of cautions or encouragements, negative statements or positive ones. Too many "don' t" and warnings of danger can make a child feel incompetent, fearful—and pessimistic. Pessimism is a hard habit to break—but it can be done.
你所看到的是半杯水，还是杯中空的一半呢？你看见的是炸面包圈，还是其间的空洞呢？当研究人员仔细研究积极思维的效应时，这些陈词滥调陡然间就都成了科学性的问题。研究表明，乐观能使人更快乐、健康和成功。悲观则相反，它使人绝望、病态和失败，并与消沉、孤寂和痛苦的胆怯紧密相连。如果我们能教导人们更加积极地思考，就如同给那些心理疾病患者注射了预防疫苗。
习惯固然重要，但真正影响你成功的，却是你是否有成功的信念。从某种程度上说，这是因为乐观者和悲观者在面对同样的挑战和失望时，会用截然不同的态度来处理。当事情进展不顺时，悲观者会责备自己，他可能会说：“我并不擅长这个，我永远都是失败的。”而乐观者则会去找寻疏漏之处。不论是消极心态，还是积极心态，都是一种能够自我实现的预料。如果人们觉得希望渺茫，就不会努力获得成功所必须的技能。
自我控制能力是成功的试金石。乐观者觉得能掌控自己的命运。如果事情变得糟糕，他会迅速做出反应，寻找解决方案，制定新的行动计划，还会四处请教。悲观者则听任命运的摆布，行动迟缓。他认为事已至此，无能为力，固而不会寻求赐教。许多研究表明，悲观者的无助感会破坏其身体的自然防御体系，即免疫体系；他们无法照顾好自己；消极被动，禁不住生活的风雨；不论做什么，他都会担心身体不好或者会有其他不幸；他还会吞吃垃圾食品，拒绝锻炼，不听信于医生，一再放纵酗酒。
人们大多都集悲观和乐观于一身，但会偏向于其中一方。这是从小受母亲的影响而形成的一种思维模式。父母无数次地警告或鼓励，消极或积极的话语是这种思维模式形成的根源。太多的“不能”和危险的警告让孩子感到无所适从，备感恐惧——这样就形成了悲观主义。虽然悲观主义很难克服，但也不是全然不能克服。
享受花朵和蜂蜜的快乐
On Pleasure
卡里·纪伯伦 / Kahil Gibran
Pleasure is a freedom song, but it is not freedom. It is the blossoming of your desires; but it is not their fruit, it is a depth calling unto a height; but it is not the deep nor the high, it is the caged taking wing; but it is not space encompassed1. Ay, in very truth, pleasure is a freedom song. And I fain would have you sing it with fullness of heart; yet I would not have you lose your hearts in the singing.
Some of your youth seek pleasure as if it was all, and they are judged and rebuked2. I would not judge nor rebuke them. I would have them seek, for they shall find pleasure, but not her alone; seven are her sisters, and the least of them is more beautiful than pleasure. Have you not heard of the man who was digging in the earth for roots and found a treasure?
And some of your elders remember pleasures with regret like wrongs committed in drunkenness. But regret is the beclouding of the mind and not its chastisement. They should remember their pleasures with gratitude, as they would the harvest of a summer. Yet if it comforts them to regret, let them be comforted.
And there are among you those who are neither young to seek nor old to remember; and in their fear of seeking and remembering they shun all pleasures, lest they neglect the spirit or offend against it.
But even in their foregoing is their pleasure.
And thus they too find a treasure though they dig for roots with quivering hands.
But tell me, who is he that can offend the spirit?
Shall the nightingale offend the stillness of the night, or the firefly3 the stars? And shall your flame or your smoke burden the wind?
Thank you the spirit is a still pool which you can trouble with a staff? Oftentimes in denying yourself pleasure you do but store the desire in the recesses of your being.
Who knows but that which seem omitted today, waits for tomorrow? Even your body knows its heritage and its rightful need and will not be deceived.
And your body is the harp of your soul, and it is yours to bring forth sweet music from it or confused sounds.
And now you ask in your heart, "How shall we distinguish4 that which is good in pleasure from that which is not good?" Go to your fields and your gardens and you shall learn that it is the pleasure of the bee to gather honey of the flower, but it is also the pleasure of the flower to yield its honey to the bee, for to the bee a flower is a fountain of life, and to the flower a bee is a messenger of love, and to both, bee and flower, the giving and the receiving of pleasure is a need and an ecstasy.
People of Orphalese, be in your pleasures like the flowers and the bees.
快乐是一首自由的歌，但它不是自由；它是你们的欲望绽放的花朵，但不是它们的果实；它是深谷对高峰的呼唤，但它既不深沉也不高耸；它是囚禁在笼中展翅的鸟儿，而不是环抱的空间。哦，的确，快乐是首自由的歌。我愿你们全心全意地歌唱它，但不愿你们在歌唱时迷失自己的心。
年轻人中有一些人追求快乐，好像它就是一切，他们已经受到判决和谴责。我不会判决他们，也不会谴责他们，我会让他们去寻找。因为他们寻找的是快乐，然而也不单单是快乐；快乐有七个姐妹，她们中最小的也比她柔美。难道你们未曾听说有人在刨树根时发现了宝藏吗?
老年人中有一些人遗憾地回忆快乐，好像在追悔酒醉后做的错事。但遗憾只会让心灵蒙上阴影，而不是一种惩罚。他们应以感恩之心回忆他们的快乐，好像回忆夏日的收获。但如果遗憾能给他们以慰藉，那就让他们得到安慰吧。
还有一些人，既不是喜欢追寻的年轻人，又不是沉湎于回忆的老年人。他们在追寻和回忆的恐惧中逃避一切快乐，唯恐自己忽视或惹怒了心灵。
然而，在他们的前行中也有快乐。
因而，即使他们用颤抖的双手挖掘树根，也会找到宝藏。
请告诉我，谁敢惹怒灵魂呢?
夜莺会扰乱夜的寂静，萤火虫会惹恼繁星吗? 你们的火焰和烟雾会拖累风吗?
你们以为灵魂是一汪止水，你们用一根木棍就可以搅乱吗? 你们通常拒绝快乐，你们只是把快乐的欲望潜伏在内心中。
有谁知道，今天被忽略的事，明天会不会存在? 甚至你们的身体也了解它的本性和合理需求，而不会被欺骗。
你们的身体是心灵的琴弦，它或奏出柔美的乐曲，或拨弄出混乱的噪音，全都在你。
现在你们扪心自问：“我们将怎样区别快乐中的善与恶呢?”去你们的田野和花园，你们就会明白蜜蜂的快乐在于采集花蜜，对于花朵而言，给蜜蜂提供花蜜就是快乐。因为蜜蜂视花朵为生命之泉，而花朵视蜜蜂为爱之使者，对于两者而言，蜜蜂与花朵，给予与接受的快乐是一种需要和狂喜的快乐。
奥菲里斯城的人们，尽情享受快乐吧，就像花朵和蜜蜂一样!