'To identify the chaise?' I inquired.
'Not at all: to identify YOU,' said he.
'My good sir, remember yourself!' said I.'The title-deeds of my estate are in that despatch-box; but you do not seriously suppose that I should allow you to examine them?'
'Well, you see, this paper proves that some Mr.Ramornie paid seventy guineas for a chaise,' said the fellow.'That's all well and good; but who's to prove to me that you are Mr.Ramornie?'
'Fellow!' cried I.
'O, fellow as much as you please!' said he.'Fellow, with all my heart! That changes nothing.I am fellow, of course - obtrusive fellow, impudent fellow, if you like - but who are you? I hear of you with two names; I hear of you running away with young ladies, and getting cheered for a Frenchman, which seems odd; and one thing I will go bail for, that you were in a blue fright when the post-
boy began to tell tales at my door.In short, sir, you may be a very good gentleman; but I don't know enough about you, and I'll trouble you for your papers, or to go before a magistrate.Take your choice; if I'm not fine enough, I hope the magistrates are.'
'My good man,' I stammered, for though I had found my voice, I could scarce be said to have recovered my wits, 'this is most unusual, most rude.Is it the custom in Westmorland that gentlemen should be insulted?'
'That depends,' said he.'When it's suspected that gentlemen are spies it IS the custom; and a good custom, too.No no,' he broke out, perceiving me to make a movement.'Both hands upon the table, my gentleman! I want no pistol balls in my chaise panels.'
'Surely, sir, you do me strange injustice!' said I, now the master of myself.'You see me sitting here, a monument of tranquillity:
pray may I help myself to wine without umbraging you?'
I took this attitude in sheer despair.I had no plan, no hope.
The best I could imagine was to spin the business out some minutes longer, then capitulate.At least, I would not capituatle one moment too soon.
'Am I to take that for NO?' he asked.
'Referring to your former obliging proposal?' said I.'My good sir, you are to take it, as you say, for "No." Certainly I will not show you my deeds; certainly I will not rise from table and trundle out to see your magistrates.I have too much respect for my digestion, and too little curiosity in justices of the peace.'
He leaned forward, looked me nearly in the face, and reached out one hand to the bell-rope.'See here, my fine fellow!' said he.
'Do you see that bell-rope? Let me tell you, there's a boy waiting below: one jingle, and he goes to fetch the constable.'
'Do you tell me so?' said I.'Well, there's no accounting for tastes! I have a prejudice against the society of constables, but if it is your fancy to have one in for the dessert - ' I shrugged my shoulders lightly.'Really, you know,' I added, 'this is vastly entertaining.I assure you, I am looking on, with all the interest of a man of the world, at the development of your highly original character.'
He continued to study my face without speech, his hand still on the button of the bell-rope, his eyes in mine; this was the decisive heat.My face seemed to myself to dislimn under his gaze, my expression to change, the smile (with which I had began) to degenerate into the grin of the man upon the rack.I was besides harassed with doubts.An innocent man, I argued, would have resented the fellow's impudence an hour ago; and by my continued endurance of the ordeal, I was simply signing and sealing my confession; in short, I had reached the end of my powers.