书城公版The Arrow of Gold
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第111章

And I have told you that she is gone because, strange as it may seem, I believe you can stand this news better now than later when you get stronger."It must be believed that Mills was right.Monsieur George fell asleep before he could feel any pang at that intelligence.A sort of confused surprise was in his mind but nothing else, and then his eyes closed.The awakening was another matter.But that, too, Mills had foreseen.For days he attended the bedside patiently letting the man in the bed talk to him of Dona Rita but saying little himself; till one day he was asked pointedly whether she had ever talked to him openly.And then he said that she had, on more than one occasion."She told me amongst other things," Mills said, "if this is any satisfaction to you to know, that till she met you she knew nothing of love.That you were to her in more senses than one a complete revelation.""And then she went away.Ran away from the revelation," said the man in the bed bitterly.

"What's the good of being angry?" remonstrated Mills, gently."You know that this world is not a world for lovers, not even for such lovers as you two who have nothing to do with the world as it is.

No, a world of lovers would be impossible.It would be a mere ruin of lives which seem to be meant for something else.What this something is, I don't know; and I am certain," he said with playful compassion, "that she and you will never find out."A few days later they were again talking of Dona Rita Mills said:

"Before she left the house she gave me that arrow she used to wear in her hair to hand over to you as a keepsake and also to prevent you, she said, from dreaming of her.This message sounds rather cryptic.""Oh, I understand perfectly," said Monsieur George."Don't give me the thing now.Leave it somewhere where I can find it some day when I am alone.But when you write to her you may tell her that now at last - surer than Mr.Blunt's bullet - the arrow has found its mark.There will be no more dreaming.Tell her.She will understand.""I don't even know where she is," murmured Mills.

"No, but her man of affairs knows....Tell me, Mills, what will become of her?""She will be wasted," said Mills sadly."She is a most unfortunate creature.Not even poverty could save her now.She cannot go back to her goats.Yet who can tell? She may find something in life.

She may! It won't be love.She has sacrificed that chance to the integrity of your life - heroically.Do you remember telling her once that you meant to live your life integrally - oh, you lawless young pedant! Well, she is gone; but you may be sure that whatever she finds now in life it will not be peace.You understand me?

Not even in a convent."

"She was supremely lovable," said the wounded man, speaking of her as if she were lying dead already on his oppressed heart.

"And elusive," struck in Mills in a low voice."Some of them are like that.She will never change.Amid all the shames and shadows of that life there will always lie the ray of her perfect honesty.

I don't know about your honesty, but yours will be the easier lot.

You will always have your...other love - you pig-headed enthusiast of the sea.""Then let me go to it," cried the enthusiast."Let me go to it."He went to it as soon as he had strength enough to feel the crushing weight of his loss (or his gain) fully, and discovered that he could bear it without flinching.After this discovery he was fit to face anything.He tells his correspondent that if he had been more romantic he would never have looked at any other woman.But on the contrary.No face worthy of attention escaped him.He looked at them all; and each reminded him of Dona Rita, either by some profound resemblance or by the startling force of contrast.

The faithful austerity of the sea protected him from the rumours that fly on the tongues of men.He never heard of her.Even the echoes of the sale of the great Allegre collection failed to reach him.And that event must have made noise enough in the world.But he never heard.He does not know.Then, years later, he was deprived even of the arrow.It was lost to him in a stormy catastrophe; and he confesses that next day he stood on a rocky, wind-assaulted shore, looking at the seas raging over the very spot of his loss and thought that it was well.It was not a thing that one could leave behind one for strange hands - for the cold eyes of ignorance.Like the old King of Thule with the gold goblet of his mistress he would have had to cast it into the sea, before he died.

He says he smiled at the romantic notion.But what else could he have done with it?

End