What seems to me important is that the perfect equality which reigns between lovers ought never to appear in the case of husband and wife,under pain of undermining the whole fabric of society and entailing terrible disasters.If it is painful to see a man whom nature has made a nonentity,how much worse is the spectacle of a man of parts brought to that position?Before very long you will have reduced Macumer to the mere shadow of a man.He will cease to have a will and character of his own,and become mere clay in your hands.You will have so completely moulded him to your likeness,that your household will consist of only one person instead of two,and that one necessarily imperfect.You will regret it bitterly;but when at last you deign to open your eyes,the evil will be past cure.Do what we will,women do not,and never will,possess the qualities which are characteristic of men,and these qualities are absolutely indispensable to family life.
Already Macumer,blinded though he is,has a dim foreshadowing of this future;he feels himself less a man through his love.His visit to Sardinia is a proof to me that he hopes by this temporary separation to succeed in recovering his old self.
You never scruple to use the power which his love has placed in your hand.Your position of vantage may be read in a gesture,a look,a tone.Oh!darling,how truly are you the mad wanton your mother called you!You do not question,I fancy,that I am greatly Louis'superior.
Well,I would ask you,have you ever heard me contradict him?Am I not always,in the presence of others,the wife who respects in him the authority of the family?Hypocrisy!you will say.Well,listen to me.
It is true that if I want to give him any advice which I think may be of use to him,I wait for the quiet and seclusion of our bedroom to explain what I think and wish;but,I assure you,sweetheart,that even there I never arrogate to myself the place of mentor.If I did not remain in private the same submissive wife that I appear to others,he would lose confidence in himself.Dear,the good we do to others is spoilt unless we efface ourselves so completely that those we help have no sense of inferiority.There is a wonderful sweetness in these hidden sacrifices,and what a triumph for me in your unsuspecting praises of Louis!There can be no doubt also that the happiness,the comfort,the hope of the last two years have restored what misfortune,hardship,solitude,and despondency has robbed him of.
This,then,is the sum-total of my observations.At the present moment you love in Felipe,not your husband,but yourself.There is truth in your father's words;concealed by the spring-flowers of your passion lies all the great lady's selfishness.Ah!my child,how I must love you to speak such bitter truths!
Let me tell you,if you will promise never to breathe a word of this to the Baron,the end of our talk.We had been singing your praises in every key,for he soon discovered that I loved you like a fondly-cherished sister,and having insensibly brought him to a confidential mood,I ventured to say:
"Louise has never yet had to struggle with life.She has been the spoilt child of fortune,and she might yet have to pay for this were you not there to act the part of father as well as lover.""Ah!but is it possible?..."He broke off abruptly,like a man who sees himself on the edge of a precipice.But the exclamation was enough for me.No doubt,if you had stayed,he would have spoken more freely later.
My sweet,think of the day awaiting you when your husband's strength will be exhausted,when pleasure will have turned to satiety,and he sees himself,I will not say degraded,but shorn of his proper dignity before you.The stings of conscience will then waken a sort of remorse in him,all the more painful for you,because you will feel yourself responsible,and you will end by despising the man whom you have not accustomed yourself to respect.Remember,too,that scorn with a woman is only the earliest phase of hatred.You are too noble and generous,I know,ever to forget the sacrifices which Felipe has made for you;but what further sacrifices will be left for him to make when he has,so to speak,served up himself at the first banquet?Woe to the man,as to the woman,who has left no desire unsatisfied!All is over then.
To our shame or our glory--the point is too nice for me to decide--it is of love alone that women are insatiable.
Oh!Louise,change yet,while there is still time.If you would only adopt the same course with Macumer that I have done with l'Estorade,you might rouse the sleeping lion in your husband,who is made of the stuff of heroes.One might almost say that you grudge him his greatness.Would you feel no pride in using your power for other ends than your own gratification,in awakening the genius of a gifted man,as I in raising to a higher level one of merely common parts?
Had you remained with us,I should still have written this letter,for in talking you might have cut me short or got the better of me with your sharp tongue.But I know that you will read this thoughtfully and weigh my warnings.Dear heart,you have everything in life to make you happy,do not spoil your chances;return to Paris,I entreat you,as soon as Macumer comes back.The engrossing claims of society,of which I complained,are necessary for both of you;otherwise you would spend your life in mutual self-absorption.A married woman ought not to be too lavish of herself.The mother of a family,who never gives her household an opportunity of missing her,runs the risk of palling on them.If I have several children,as I trust for my own sake I may,Iassure you I shall make a point of reserving to myself certain hours which shall be held sacred;even to one's children one's presence should not be a matter of daily bread.
Farewell,my dear jealous soul!Do you know that many women would be highly flattered at having roused this passing pang in you?Alas!Ican only mourn,for what is not mother in me is your dear friend.Athousand loves.Make what excuse you will for leaving;if you are not sure of Macumer,I am of Louis.