--But it is an indubitable verity, continued I, addressing myself to the commissary, changing only the form of my asseveration--that I owe the king of France nothing but my good will; for he is a very honest man, and I wish him all health and pastime in the world--Pardonnez moi--replied the commissary, you are indebted to him six livres four sous, for the next post from hence to St. Fons, in your route to Avignon--which being a post royal, you pay double for the horses and postillion--otherwise 'twould have amounted to no more than three livres two sous----But I don't go by land; said I.
--You may if you please; replied the commissary--Your most obedient servant--said I, making him a low bow--The commissary, with all the sincerity of grave good breeding--made me one, as low again.--I never was more disconcerted with a bow in my life.
--The devil take the serious character of these people! quoth I--(aside)they understand no more of Irony than this--
The comparison was standing close by with his panniers--but something seal'd up my lips--I could not pronounce the name--Sir, said I, collecting myself--it is not my intention to take post----But you may--said he, persisting in his first reply--you may take post if you chuse----And I may take salt to my pickled herring, said I, if I chuse----But I do not chuse--
--But you must pay for it, whether you do or no.
Aye! for the salt; said I (I know)--
--And for the post too; added he. Defend me! cried I--I travel by water--I am going down the Rhone this very afternoon--my baggage is in the boat--and I have actually paid nine livres for my passage--C'est tout egal--'tis all one; said he.
Bon Dieu! what, pay for the way I go! and for the way I do not go!
--C'est tout egal; replied the commissary--
--The devil it is! said I--but I will go to ten thousand Bastiles first--O England! England! thou land of liberty, and climate of good sense, thou tenderest of mothers--and gentlest of nurses, cried I, kneeling upon one knee, as I was beginning my apostrophe.
When the director of Madam Le Blanc's conscience coming in at that instant, and seeing a person in black, with a face as pale as ashes, at his devotions--looking still paler by the contrast and distress of his drapery--ask'd, if I stood in want of the aids of the church--I go by Water--said I--and here's another will be for making me pay for going by Oil.