`Dear, dear!' cried Mrs. Todgers, `what would I have given to have prevented this? To lose you, sir, would be like losing the house's right-hand. So popular as you are among the gentlemen; so generally looked up to; and so much liked! I do hope you'll think better of it. On nobody else's account, on mine.'
`There's Jinkins,' said the youngest gentleman, moodily. `Your favourite.
He'll console you, and the gentlemen too, for the loss of twenty such as me. I'm not understood in this house. I never have been.'
`Don't run away with that opinion, sir!' cried Mrs. Todgers, with a show of honest indignation. `Don't make such a charge as that against the establishment, I must beg of you. It is not so bad as that comes to, sir.
Make any remark you please against the gentlemen, or against me; but don't say you're not understood in this house.'
`I'm not treated as if I was,' said the youngest gentleman.
`There you make a great mistake, sir,' returned Mrs. Todgers, in the same strain. `As many of the gentlemen and I have often said, you are too sensitive. That's where it is. You are of too susceptible a nature; it's in your spirit.'
The young gentleman coughed.
`And as,' said Mrs. Todgers, `as to Mr. Jinkins, I must beg of you, if we are to part, to understand that I don't abet Mr. Jinkins by any means. Far from it. I could wish that Mr. Jinkins would take a lower tone in this establishment, and would not be the means of raising differences between me and gentlemen that I can much less bear to part with than I could with Mr. Jinkins. Mr. Jinkins is not such a boarder, sir,' added Mrs. Todgers, `that all considerations of private feeling and respect give way before him. Quite the contrary, I assure you.'
The young gentleman was so much mollified by these and similar speeches on the part of Mrs. Todgers, that he and that lady gradually changed positions; so that she became the injured party, and he was understood to be the injurer; but in a complimentary, not in an offensive sense; his cruel conduct being attributable to his exalted nature, and to that alone. So, in the end, the young gentleman withdrew his notice, and assured Mrs. Todgers of his unalterable regard: and having done so, went back to business.
`Goodness me, Miss Pecksniffs!' cried that lady, as she came into the back room, and sat wearily down, with her basket on her knees, and her hands folded upon it, `what a trial of temper it is to keep a house like this! You must have heard most of what has just passed. Now did you ever hear the like?'
`Never!' said the two Miss Pecksniffs.
`Of all the ridiculous young fellows that ever I had to deal with,' resumed Mrs. Todgers, `that is the most ridiculous and unreasonable. Mr Jinkins is hard upon him sometimes, but not half as hard as he deserves.
To mention such a gentleman as Mr. Jinkins in the same breath with him.
You know it's too much! And yet he's as jealous of him, bless you, as if he was his equal.'
The young ladies were greatly entertained by Mrs. Todgers's account, no less than with certain anecdotes illustrative of the youngest gentleman's character, which she went on to tell them. But Mr. Pecksniff looked quite stern and angry: and when she had concluded, said in a solemn voice:
`Pray, Mrs. Todgers, if I may inquire, what does that young gentleman contribute towards the support of these premises?'
`Why, sir, for what he has, he pays about eighteen shillings a week!' said Mrs. Todgers.
`Eighteen shillings a week!' repeated Mr. Pecksniff.
`Taking one week with another; as near that as possible,' said Mrs.
Todgers.
Mr. Pecksniff rose from his chair, folded his arms, looked at her, and shook his head.
`And do you mean to say, ma'am, is it possible, Mrs. Todgers, that for such a miserable consideration as eighteen shillings a week, a female of your understanding can so far demean herself as to wear a double face, even for an instant?'
`I am forced to keep things on the square if I can, sir,' faltered Mrs.
Todgers. `I must preserve peace among them, and keep my connexion together, if possible, Mr. Pecksniff. The profit is very small.'
`The profit!' cried that gentleman, laying great stress upon the word.
`The profit, Mrs. Todgers! You amaze me!'
He was so severe, that Mrs. Todgers shed tears.
`The profit!' repeated Mr. pecksniff. `The profit of dissimulation!
To worship the golden calf of Baal, for eighteen shillings a week!'
`Don't in your own goodness be too hard upon me, Mr. Pecksniff,' cried Mrs. Todgers, taking out her handkerchief.
`Oh Calf, Calf!' cried Mr. Pecksniff mournfully. `Oh, Baal, Baal! oh my friend, Mrs. Todgers! To barter away that precious jewel, self-esteem, and cringe to any mortal creature--for eighteen shillings a week!'
He was so subdued and overcome by the reflection, that he immediately took down his hat from its peg in the passage, and went out for a walk, to compose his feelings. Anybody passing him in the street might have known him for a good man at first sight; for his whole figure teemed with a consciousness of the moral homily he had read to Mrs. Todgers.
Eighteen shillings a week! Just, most just, thy censure, upright Pecksniff!
Had it been for the sake of a ribbon, star, or garter; sleeves of lawn, a great man's smile, a seat in parliament, a tap upon the shoulder from a courtly sword; a place, a party, or a thriving lie, or eighteen thousand pounds, or even eighteen hundred;--but to worship the golden calf for eighteen shillings a week! Oh pitiful, pitiful!