书城公版Sir Gibbie
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第36章

'Maist the only thing I can min' o' my gran'father--a big bonny man, wi' lang white hair--twise as big's me, Gibbie--is seein' him deid drunk i' the gutter o' the pump.He drank 'maist a' thing there was, Gibbie--lan's an' lordship, till there was hardly an accre left upo' haill Daurside to come to my father--'maist naething but a wheen sma' hooses.He was a guid man, my father; but his father learnt him to drink afore he was 'maist oot o' 's coaties, an' gae him nae schuilin'; an' gien he red himsel' o' a' 'at was left, it was sma' won'er--only, ye see, Gibbie, what was to come o' me? Ipit it till ye, Gibbie--what was to come o' me?--Gien a kin' neiper, 'at kent what it was to drink, an' sae had a fallow-feelin', hadna ta'en an' learnt me my trade, the Lord kens what wad hae come o' you an' me, Gibbie, my man!--Gang to yer bed, noo, an' lea' me to my ain thouchts; no' 'at they're aye the best o' company, laddie.--But whiles they're no that ill," he concluded, with a weak smile, as some reflex of himself not quite unsatisfactory gloomed faintly in the besmeared mirror of his uncertain consciousness.

Gibbie obeyed, and getting under the Gordon tartan, lay and looked out, like a weasel from its hole, at his father's back.For half an hour or so Sir George went on drinking.All at once he started to his feet, and turning towards the bed a white face distorted with agony, kneeled down on the box and groaned out:

"O God, the pains o' hell hae gotten haud upo' me.O Lord, I'm i'

the grup o' Sawtan.The deevil o' drink has me by the hause.Idoobt, O Lord, ye're gauin' to damn me dreidfu'.What guid that'll do ye, O Lord, I dinna ken, but I doobtna ye'll dee what's richt, only I wuss I hed never crossed ye i' yer wull.I kenna what I'm to dee, or what's to be deene wi' me, or whaur ony help's to come frae.

I hae tried an' tried to maister the drink, but I was aye whumled.

For ye see, Lord, kennin' a' thing as ye dee, 'at until I hae a drap i' my skin, I canna even think; I canna min' the sangs I used to sing, or the prayers my mither learnt me sittin' upo' her lap.

Till I hae swallowed a mou'fu' or twa, things luik sae awfu'-like 'at I'm fit to cut my thro't; an' syne ance I'm begun, there's nae mair thoucht o' endeevourin' to behaud (withhold) till I canna drink a drap mair.O God, what garred ye mak things 'at wad mak whusky, whan ye kenned it wad mak sic a beast o' me?

He paused, stretched down his hand to the floor, lifted the mug, and drank a huge mouthful; then with a cough that sounded apologetic, set it down, and recommenced:

"O Lord, I doobt there's nae houp for me, for the verra river o' the watter o' life wadna be guid to me wantin' a drap frae the boatle intil 't.It's the w'y wi' a' hiz 'at drinks.It's no 'at we're drunkards, Lord--ow na! it's no that, Lord; it's only 'at we canna dee wantin' the drink.We're sair drinkers, I maun confess, but no jist drunkards, Lord.I'm no drunk the noo; I ken what I'm sayin', an' it's sair trowth, but I cudna hae prayt a word to yer lordship gien I hadna had a jooggy or twa first.O Lord, deliver me frae the pooer o' Sawtan.--O Lord! O Lord! I canna help mysel'.Dinna sen'

me to the ill place.Ye loot the deils gang intil the swine, lat me tee."With this frightful petition, his utterance began to grow indistinct.Then he fell forward upon the bed, groaning, and his voice died gradually away.Gibbie had listened to all he said, but the awe of hearing his father talk to one unseen, made his soul very still, and when he ceased he fell asleep.