Music in Italy is accompanied with so trifling an expense, that it is not worth while for such as have a taste for it to deny themselves the pleasure it affords.I hired a harpsichord, and, for half a crown, I had at my apartment four or five symphonists, with whom I practiced once a week in executing such airs, etc., as had given me most pleasure at the opera.I also had some symphonies performed from my Muses Galantes.Whether these pleased the performers, or the ballet-master of St.John Chrysostom wished to flatter me, he desired to have two of them; and I had afterwards the pleasure of hearing these executed by that admirable orchestra.They were danced to by a little Bettina, pretty and amiable, and kept by a Spaniard, M.***oaga, a friend of ours with whom we often went to spend the evening.But apropos of girls of easy virtue: it is not in Venice that a man abstains from them.Have you nothing to confess, somebody will ask me, upon this subject? Yes: I have something to say upon it, and I will proceed to this confession with the same ingenuousness with which I have made all my former ones.
I always had a disinclination to common prostitutes, but at Venice those were all I had within my reach; most of the houses being shut against me on account of my place.The daughters of M.le Blond were very amiable, but difficult of access; and I had too much respect for the father and mother ever once to have the least desire for them.
I should have had a much stronger inclination to a young lady named Mademoiselle de Cataneo, daughter to the agent from the King of Prussia, but Carrio was in love with her: there was even between them some question of marriage.He was in easy circumstances, and Ihad no fortune: his salary was a hundred louis (guineas) a year, and mine amounted to no more than a thousand livres (about forty pounds sterling): and, besides, my being unwilling to oppose a friend, I knew that in all places, and especially at Venice, with a purse so ill furnished as mine was, gallantry was out of the question.I had not lost the pernicious custom of deceiving my wants.Too busily employed forcibly to feel those proceeding from the climate, I lived upwards of a year in that city as chastely as I had done in Paris, and at the end of eighteen months I quitted it without having approached the ***, except twice by means of the singular opportunities of which I am going to speak.
The first was procured me by that honest gentleman, Vitali, some time after the formal apology I obliged him to make me.The conversation at the table turned on the amusements of Venice.These gentlemen reproached me with my indifference with regard to the most delightful of them all; at the same time extolling the gracefulness and elegant manners of the women of easy virtue of Venice; and adding that they were superior to all others of the same description in any other part of the world.Dominic said I must make the acquaintance of the most amiable of them all; and he offered to take me to her apartments, assuring me I should be pleased with her.Ilaughed at this obliging offer: and Count Peati, a man in years and venerable, observed to me, with more candor than I should have expected from an Italian, that he thought me too prudent to suffer myself to be taken to such a place by my enemy.In fact I had no inclination to do it: but notwithstanding this, by an incoherence Icannot myself comprehend, I at length was prevailed upon to go, contrary to my inclination, the sentiment of my heart, my reason, and even my will; solely from weakness, and being ashamed to show an appearance to the lead mistrust; and besides, as the expression of the country is, per non parer troppo coglione.* The Padoana whom we went to visit was pretty, she was even handsome, but her beauty was not of that kind which pleased me.Dominic left me with her, I sent for Sorbetti, and asked her to sing.In about half an hour I wished to take my leave, after having put a ducat on the table, but this by a singular scruple she refused until she had deserved it, and I from as singular a folly consented to remove her doubts.I returned to the palace so fully persuaded that I should feel the consequences of this step, that the first thing I did was to send for the king's surgeon to ask him for ptisans.Nothing can equal the uneasiness of mind I suffered for three weeks, without its being justified by any real inconvenience or apparent sign.I could not believe it was possible to withdraw with impunity from the arms of the padoana.The surgeon himself had the greatest difficulty in removing my apprehensions; nor could he do this by any other means than by persuading me I was formed in such a manner as not to be easily infected: and although in the experiment I exposed myself less than any other man would have done, my health in that respect never having suffered the least inconvenience, is in my opinion a proof the surgeon was right.However, this has never made me imprudent, and if in fact I have received such an advantage from nature I can safely assert I have never abused it.
* Not to appear too great a blockhead.