And where are my neighbours of Cicynna?
DISCIPLE
They live here.This is Euboea; you see this island, that is so long and narrow.
STREPSIADES
I know.Because we and Pericles have stretched it by dint of squeezing it.And where is Lacedaemon?
DISCIPLE
Lacedaemon? Why, here it is, look.
STREPSIADES
How near it is to us! Think it well over, it must be removed to a greater distance.
DISCIPLE
But, by Zeus, that is not possible.
STREPSIADES
Then, woe to you! and who is this man suspended up in a basket?
DISCIPLE
That's himself.
STREPSIADES
Who's himself?
DISCIPLE
Socrates.
STREPSIADES
Socrates! Oh! I pray you, call him right loudly for me.
DISCIPLE
Call him yourself; I have no time to waste.(He departs.The machine swings in SOCRATES in a basket.)STREPSIADES
Socrates! my little Socrates!
SOCRATES (loftily)
Mortal, what do you want with me?
STREPSIADES
First, what are you doing up there? Tell me, I beseech you.
SOCRATES (POMPOUSLY)
I am traversing the air and contemplating the sun.
STREPSIADES
Thus it's not on the solid ground, but from the height of this basket, that you slight the gods, if indeed....
SOCRATES
I have to suspend my brain and mingle the subtle essence of my mind with this air, which is of the like nature, in order clearly to penetrate the things of heaven.I should have discovered nothing, had I remained on the ground to consider from below the things that are above; for the earth by its force attracts the sap of the mind to itself.It's just the same with the watercress.
STREPSIADES
What? Does the mind attract the sap of the watercress? Ah! my dear little Socrates, come down to me! I have come to ask you for lessons.
SOCRATES (descending)
And for what lessons?
STREPSIADES
I want to learn how to speak.I have borrowed money, and my merciles creditors do not leave me a moment's peace; all my goods are at stake.
SOCRATES
And how was it you did not see that you were getting so much into debt?
STREPSIADES
My ruin has been the madness for horses, a most rapacious evil;but teach me one of your two methods of reasoning, the one whose object is not to repay anything, and, may the gods bear witness, that I am ready to pay any fee you may name.
SOCRATES
By which gods will you swear? To begin with, the gods are not a coin current with us.
STREPSIADES
But what do you swear by then? By the iron money of Byzantium?
SOCRATES
Do you really wish to know the truth of celestial matters?
STREPSIADES
Why, yes, if it's possible.
SOCRATES
....and to converse with the clouds, who are our genii?
STREPSIADES
Without a doubt.
SOCRATES
Then be seated on this sacred couch.
STREPSIADES (sitting down)
I am seated.
SOCRATES
Now take this chaplet.
STREPSIADES
Why a chaplet? Alas! Socrates, would you sacrifice me, like Athamas?
SOCRATES
No, these are the rites of initiation.
STREPSIADES
And what is it I am to gain?
SOCRATES
You will become a thorough rattle-pate, a hardened old stager, the fine flour of the talkers....But come, keep quiet.
STREPSIADES
By Zeus! That's no lie! Soon I shall be nothing but wheat-flour, if you powder me in that fashion.
SOCRATES
Silence, old man, give heed to the prayers.(In an hierophantic tone) Oh! most mighty king, the boundless air, that keepest the earth suspended in space, thou bright Aether and ye venerable goddesses, the Clouds, who carry in your loins the thunder and the lightning, arise, ye sovereign powers and manifest yourselves in the celestial spheres to the eyes of your sage.
STREPSIADES
Not yet! Wait a bit, till I fold my mantle double, so as not to get wet.And to think that I did not even bring my travelling cap!
What a misfortune!
SOCRATES (ignoring this)
Come, oh! Clouds, whom I adore, come and show yourselves to this man, whether you be resting on the sacred summits of Olympus, crowned with hoar-frost, or tarrying in the gardens of Ocean, your father, forming sacred choruses with the Nymphs; whether you be gathering the waves of the Nile in golden vases or dwelling in the Maeotic marsh or on the snowy rocks of Mimas, hearken to my prayer and accept my offering.May these sacrifices be pleasing to you.
(Amidst rumblings of thunder the CHORUS OF CLOUDS appears.)CHORUS (singing)
Eternal Clouds, let us appear; let us arise from the roaring depths of Ocean, our father; let us fly towards the lofty mountains, spread our damp wings over their forest-laden summits, whence we will dominate the distant valleys, the harvest fed by the sacred earth, the murmur of the divine streams and the resounding waves of the sea, which the unwearying orb lights up with its glittering beams.
But let us shake off the rainy fogs, which hide our immortal beauty and sweep the earth from afar with our gaze.
SOCRATES
Oh, venerated goddesses, yes, you are answering my call! (To STREPSIADES.) Did you hear their voices mingling with the awful growling of the thunder?
STREPSIADES
Oh! adorable Clouds, I revere you and I too am going to let off my thunder, so greatly has your own affrighted me.(He farts.) Faith!
whether permitted or not, I must, I must crap!
SOCRATES
No scoffing; do not copy those damned comic poets.Come, silence! a numerous host of goddesses approaches with songs.
CHORUS (singing)
Virgins, who pour forth the rains, let us move toward Attica, the rich country of Pallas, the home of the brave; let us visit the dear land of Cecrops, where the secret rites are celebrated, where the mysterious sanctuary flies open to the initiate....What victims are offered there to the deities of heaven! What glorious temples! What statues! What holy prayers to the rulers of Olympus! At every season nothing but sacred festivals, garlanded victims, is to be seen.Then Spring brings round again the joyous feasts of Dionysus, the harmonious contests of the choruses and the serious melodies of the flute.
STREPSIADES
By Zeus! Tell me, Socrates, I pray you, who are these women, whose language is so solemn; can they be demi-goddesses?
SOCRATES