书城外语六级写作速成的秘密:3个月写出好成绩
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第3章 高分作文透析(2)

By the way,don’t forget to bring some warm clothes with you,because it is a little bit colder here in Shanghai than in Sichuan.

Remember me to your parents.

8points

I‘m very glad that you will come to see me during the week-long holiday.We have not seen each other for two years.So this time we can spend the holiday together will make me so happy.

Since you left Shanghai two years ago,Shanghai has changed a lot.The city is more beautiful and buildings are higher.You will surely superise the changes.I have helped you to make some arrangments during the holiday.We can go shopping in Naijing Road which is the best road of Shanghai.We can go to people’s square and history museum to visit.We can also visit the JingMao Building which has 88foors.Shanghai has many new and good place we can visit.The time table of vist we can make when you come.What do you think of my advice.

评析:这篇文章切题,条理基本清楚,前后也还连贯。作者基本上能表达自己的意思,读者也基本上能看懂。但是,该考生对英语语法和词汇的掌握还需要进一步提高,文章中句子结构上的严重错误较多,有明显的按中文语序造句的痕迹。如:1.第1段最后一句so this time we can spend the holiday together will make me so happy中主语从句this time we can spend the holiday together缺了连接词that,正确的结构应该是(The fact)that we can spend the holiday together this time will make me so happy。当然,如果能改成It makes me very happy to think that we can spend the holiday together this time就更好了。

2.第2段第3句You will surely superise the changes应改为You will surely be surprised at the changes。surprise的意思是“使惊奇”,所以,原文的意思变成“你将肯定令变化惊奇”,而不是“你将肯定对变化感到吃惊”,这样说就不通了。而且在surprise这样的复用式单词上出现了拼写错误。

3.第2段倒数第2句The time table of visit we can make when you come的次序不符合英语的习惯,应改成We can make/set up a timetable when you come。另外,该考生在词的拼写、大小写、名词的单复数以及介词的用法上也出现了各种各样的错误,说明其英语语言基础还不够扎实,不够全面,还需要相当大的努力才能赶上。

现将原文作适当修改,供读者参考:

I‘m very glad that you will come to see me during the weeklong holiday.We have not seen each other for two years.It makes me very happy to think that we can spend the holiday together this time.

Shanghai has changed a lot since you left it two years ago.The city is more beautiful and new high-rises are springing up everywhere.You will surely be surprised/amazed at the changes.I have made some arrangements for your holiday.We can go shopping in Nanjing Road,which is the business center of Shanghai.We can go to the People’s Square and visit the History Museum.We can also visit Jinmao Building,which has 88foors.Many other new and wonderful places are also worth visiting.We can set up a timetable when you come.What do you think of it?

By the way,you should telephone me before you set off for Shanghai.I will meet you at the railway station.I‘m looking forward to your arrival.

5points

I have known you will come to Shanghai.Three years ago,you went to the England.From then,we haven’t meet with each other.I welcome that you can return your country.

From your letter,I have known you have a week-long holiday.There is a great change in Shanghai.I think you must be feel surprised with what you see.So I advise you visit some place,that we often went ago.And you can visit some old-classmates.They also mise you very much.

If you don‘t want to hotel,you can live in my home.You’d better buy a map.I‘m afraid you will be at a lost.But even if you can’t fnd bus stop,you still can go to anywhere by taxi.I hope you will have an unforgetable holiday.

评析:这篇作文虽也基本切题,但由于语言错误很多,且多为严重错误,使得作者无法把思想表达清楚,文章的连贯性自然也很差,只能得5分。像这样的考生,在写的能力上与大纲要求还有相当大的距离,须花大气力迎头赶上。

2points

I‘m very happy for your coming.

It’s time for us to visit Shanghai.We can go to popular-squire.It has been great changed since you visited last time.You will surprise for its beauty.Then we can visit Shang Museum.That is interstring.And you can go to Nanjin-road.It is very boom and you can shopping there.We will play very happily during the week-long holiday.

You don‘t forget to dail me.And tell me what’s the data,time you coming,where I can pick up your.Don‘t carry any-thing because I have ready for all.When coming,you should stay station or we will miss.Remember all above.

I’m wait for your coming.When meeting you,I‘ll talk you dital.

评析:这篇作文条理不清,思路紊乱,语言支离破碎,大部分句子均有错误,且多数为严重错误。可以说,像这样的考生,在英语学习上还有较大欠缺,必须从头开始,狠抓基本功,尽快补上这门课。这篇文章大家来试着改一改吧。

六级写作高分策略

每次四、六级考试后,数名阅卷人员要在很短的时间内评阅大量的试卷,工作量大,时间紧,就作文而言,阅卷人员根本不可能面对你的大作,细品慢啜。据统计,四、六级作文平均评卷时间仅13秒,因此如何在这极有限的13秒内赢得阅卷官的青睐,这里面大有学问。

一审题要正确

大家拿到作文题目之后,先要仔细阅读题目明确作文的类型。这一点是非常关键的,因为四级相对很强调作文的结构。如果没有一个很清楚的结构,一定会失去一定的分数。四级作文一般常见有下面三种结构:说明文,议论文和应用文写作。说明文主要可以分为阐述主题类型的,利弊类型的,原因结果类型的,解决问题类型的以及谚语说明类型。议论文主要是就观点进行反驳类型的。应用文写作主要包括演讲词,求职求学信,邀请信,感谢信和投诉信等。所以大家必须在平时复习的过程明确各种类型的写作结构,这样在考试时候就可以在结构上不会出现任何问题,也不会因为写跑题而失分。

英语和汉语的文章结尾段都注重概括全文,照应开头。两者又略有区别,汉语的文章结尾往往比较严肃,尤其是议论文经常采用诉诸感情的手段,引用名言甚至口号结尾,以激起读者的共鸣,说教性较强;而英语文章的结尾比较轻松,往往通过引言、反问、故事、建议、分析、归纳和概括等手段深化主题,首尾呼应。因此,中国学生在写英语作文中,应自觉避免汉语思维的负面影响,避免使用命令句或祈使句的教训式或口号式内容,避免加入个人倾向,尽可能以客观的角度,通过论证、分析,得出令人信服的结论,证明观点的正确。

二结构要完整

开始写作文时一定要段落清楚,有明显的开头,主体和结论部分。也就是大家要学会分段落,不要像记流水账一样,一段到底,这样就会给老师留下很坏的印象。同时在文章写作过程中,一定要学会使用一些句子之间以及引起和结束文章时候的连接词,这样的话可以使文章很自然,流畅。比如在写文章主体的时候可以用“首先,其次,再次这样的连接词,或者一方面,另一方面”等这样的词。这些都是很容易引起老师的注意,可以得分的地方。

三错误要回避

写文章时候尽量多用一些六级词汇,这样也可以提高老师的印象。但不是说你用的词很多,而写出的句子结构,语法错误太多。这样也会很糟糕的。因此大家一定要注意,如果自己词汇不怎么多的时候,你不要用自己不确定和不会拼写的词,还有一定要确保句子的正确性,尽量避免语法结构的错误。即使你使用的简单句,但是写得很清楚,没任何错误,也可以得到不错的分数。

四字数要适当

六级作文要求的字数一般是至少150词,字数如少于150词,该篇作文即使写得不错也很难得高分。但是长的作文如果几乎每句话都有错误也不能得到好的分数。所以大家一定要注意,写的时候要长度适中,确保写出的句子错误很少,即使观点只是很一般,没什么新的地方。也能得到相对好的分数。

五卷面要整洁

卷面一定要整洁,字一定要写得漂亮,这可以在很大程度上影响你们分数的升降。因此写作文时要书写工整,标点清楚,段落分明,而不要陷入“内容好=高分”的误区。很多时候,内容一般但书写漂亮的试卷会获得高分,而内容较好但卷面潦草的试卷反会被倒扣分。

六级作文高分技巧

六级考试大纲要求学生在30分钟内完成一篇大约150词的短文。文章不长,但需要有头有尾,有论有据,有发有收。从历年高分文章来看,每篇文章都有“亮”点,即在用词、造句或段落安排上都有独到之处。要想获得高分就应写出自己的特色,写出自己的“亮”点。