书城外语那些妙趣横生的故事
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第4章 Women's secrets

女人,不能说的秘密

◎Women especially love a bargain. 女人特别喜欢便宜货。

◎Women love to shop. It is the only area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control. 女人喜欢购物。她们觉得那是她们在这个世界上唯一能控制的领域。

◎Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it,even if they have nothing to say. 女人喜欢交谈。沉默使她们不安,她们需要用交谈打破沉默,即使她们没什么可说的。

◎Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. 女人需要感觉到别人不如她们。

◎Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved. 女人讨厌虫子。当看到一只蜘蛛或黄蜂时,即使意志力很强的女人也需要一个男人在身旁。

◎Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip. 女人经常结伴去公共卫生间。这是她们八卦的好机会。

◎ Women think all beer is the same. 女人觉得所有品牌的啤酒都是一个味儿。

◎Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be. 女人不能领略体育节目的魅力。男人从那些能让他们逃离现实的东西中寻找娱乐,女人则从那些能提醒她们现实有多糟糕的东西中寻找娱乐。

◎Women are paid less than men,except for one field:Modeling. 女人的薪水比男人低,只有一个行业例外——模特。

◎Women do not know anything about cars,even if they drive a car themselves. 女人对汽车一无所知,即使她们自己开车。

◎Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girl friend for two weeks,and upon returning home,she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.女人喜欢煲电话粥。一个女人去看她的女朋友,她们一起生活了两个星期,她刚刚回家便会给这个女朋友打电话,然后会聊上3个小时。

◎Women do not want an honest answer to the question,“How do I look?” 在“我看上去怎么样?” 这个问题上,女人不想得到诚实的答案。

◎“Oh,nothing,”has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.“哦,没什么。”这句话在女人的字典里的意思和在男人字典里的完全不同。

◎ All women will say that they are overweight,but don't agree with them about it. 所有女人都会说自己超重,但千万别对此表示赞同。

◎Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested. 面对超速行驶的罚单,噘嘴可以使女人免于处罚,却会使男人被拘留。

◎Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. 女人并不真的在乎男人是否有幽默感,尽管她们声称幽默感很重要。

◎Women will spend hours dressing up to go out,and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men;women will always catch men checking out other women. 女人在出门前花费数小时化妆,然后她们出门,花更多时间注视其他女人。男人永远不会察觉女人注视着其他男人,而女人总能抓住男人注视着其他女人。

◎The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. 最让女人尴尬的就是在一个正式的聚会上,发现另一个女人穿着和自己同样的衣服。

单词&词组

bargain [5bB:^in] n.协定;便宜的东西

intimidate [in5timideit] v.胁迫;威迫

strong-willed意志坚强的,固执已见的

gossip [5^Csip] n.闲话,闲谈

pout [paut] v.撅嘴,绷脸

humor [5hju:mE] n.幽默,心情,诙谐

contrary [5kCntrEri] adj.(性质、方向或意义上)相反的

check out付账后离开(旅馆);查实;了解

embarrassed [im'bArEst] adj.尴尬的,窘迫的

知道不知道

如何用英语骂女人

She is so neurotic and you can't imagine what she did to my cat. 她太神经质了,你想不到她对我的猫咪都干了些什么。

You are absolutely a disgrace of a human being.你真是人类的耻辱。(其实这句话的听众不只女性,男人同样也没问题)

The bitch is back! 该死,又来了!(这句话也是Elton John与Bernie Taupin 创作的一支非常著名的单曲。灵感来自Taupin的妻子,当时几个人正讨论Caribou 专辑,但是突然间Elton John那传说中的爆脾气又来了,他大发无名火,惹得Taupin 的老婆直呼“the bitch is back!”)