书城外语人生明白要趁早
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第39章 条理的功效TheGoodFeeling

[美]丹尼斯斯科菲尔德/Deniece Schofield

“条理”是我最喜欢讨论的话题,这是显而易见的事情。但是,我为什么会对这样一个无聊的话题感兴趣呢让我解释给大家听。

在我们家,做什么事的回报往往是消极的,也就是说,当我把事情做得很完美时,几乎听不到赞扬;然而,一旦事情没做好,就会听到很多抱怨!这听起来是不是很熟悉呢

我蹲在地上,花了几个小时把冰箱清理干净,却从不记得听到有任何一个人说:“哎呀,妈妈,冰箱可真干净呀!”我也从来没听人说过:“我今天早上真高兴,衬衫上的扣子没掉一颗!”或者,“噢,亲爱的,你把床铺好了!”然而,如果衣服上丢了一颗扣子,地板黏糊糊的,或者没把床铺好,我就会听到抱怨的话。有时,大家似乎有一个错误的共识:缝纫机、拖把和衣橱是专属于我的。(现在,我正在努力改变这种观念。)

或许,你已经注意到了,做家务活就像是把水注进筛子——菲利斯迪勒作了一个恰到好处的概括:“在孩子小的时候,打扫房间就像下雪的时候扫雪。”

没有人会记住你做得好的时候,然而每个人都会记住你做得不好的时候,我们每天都要面对这些负面回报。也许你已经注意到了,人们在家中享受不到多少荣耀,我们在家中很少能够得到赞赏或鼓励(母亲节 和父亲节 除外)。一年中,在母亲节和父亲节以外的日子,我忠实的拥护者们都到哪里去了哎呀,我擦干净的冰箱被他们溅上了牛奶,他们把口香糖包装纸丢进了自己放袜子的抽屉,此外,他们还自愿为下次家长会(常常就是在当天晚上举行)提供400个纸托蛋糕。所以,我们会得出这样的结论:“有条理的生活最好留给那些没有孩子、单身或者心脏承受能力强的父母!”

所有这些促使我要向大家说一说,为什么把事情做得有条有理会令人感到兴奋。当你把壁橱、碗橱或者抽屉整理得很整齐时,那些整整齐齐的地方似乎会对你说:“干得好!坚持下去!”这是多么大的动力呀!能够听到那些称赞的话语,感觉真是好极了,因为在家中你只有十分之一的机会听到这样的赞扬。

我每天都能够收到来自全国各个地方的来信,而且每天都会收到一封这样的信:“我今天收拾了自己的壁橱,没过五分钟我就会走到它跟前,只是为了看看它!”

条理会让人产生美好的感觉,这种感觉会流淌到你的性格中,从而改善你对生活的整体看法。你会从有条理的生活中获得宽慰感,它能大大地减轻你的压力,把你从绝望中拯救出来。

我仍然记得自己第一次注意到“美妙感觉”这个词,那是一家银行为了吸收储蓄和贷款客户而作的宣传。从那以后,我注意到了广播中有许多相似的宣传:“我们拥有了,我们完全拥有了美好的感觉”,“我们将美好的事物赋予生活”,“有一种美妙的感觉蕴藏于牛奶之中”,“万事达信用卡会员组织让你的世界变得更美好”。

甚至,当一只狗吃了高蛋白食物,都会兴高采烈地在院子里跑来跑去。

现在,“美妙感觉”为每个人带来了好处,我也正在免费为你提供这种感觉,你需要的只是一些思考的时间和一些循规蹈矩的工作。

克里斯多夫罗宾(来自艾伦亚历山大米尔恩的《小熊维尼》)作出了最恰当的评价:“在你做事情之前,你就应该做到有条理。这样一来,你在做事情的时候,才不会把事情搞得乱糟糟的。”

如果你希望与孩子们一起过有条理的生活,你就能够做到。请大家紧紧地跟随我,我们一起努力,平稳、系统地向着解放的道路缓缓前行。

Obviously,organization is my favorite subject.How could such a boring subject be so satisfying?Let me explain.

At our house,we work on a system of negative rewards.By that I mean,I don’t hear too much about it when I do things right,but I hear plenty when I mess up!Sound familiar?

After spending hours on all fours cleaning the refrigerator,I can’t remember ever hearing anyone say,“Gee,Mom,the refrigerator looks great!”And no one ever says,“l’m so glad all the buttons are on my shirt this morning.”Or,“Aw.shucks,dear,you made the bed!”But,boy,do I hear about it if there’s a button missing,a sticky floor,or an unmade bed.Sometimes it seems there’s a universal misconception that I have exclusive rights to the sewing box,the mop,and the linen closet.(I’m doing my best to reconceive that idea!)

You too have noticed that doing housework is like fining a sieve with water.Phyllis Diller sums it up nicely:“Cleaning the house while the children are growing is like shoveling snow before it stops snowing.”

Negative rewards.We face them daily.Do it right and no one remembers,but do it wrong and no one forgets.Maybe you’ve noticed that there’s not a lot of glory at home.We don’t often receive accolades or pats on the back(with the obvious exception of Mother’s Day or Father’s Day).And where are my loyal supporters the rest of the year?Why,they’re spilling milk in my clean refrigerator,throwing gum wrappers in their sock drawers,and volunteering four hundred cupcakes for the next PTA meeting(which is usually this evening).No wonderwe conclude that organized living is best left to the childless,the single,or to incredibly stouthearted parents!

All this leads me to why getting things in order is exciting!When you have a closet,a cupboard,or a drawer in perfect order,that one little area seems to say,“You’re doing a wonderful job!Keep up the good work!”What motivation!It’s terrific to feel those words,because chances are ten to one you’ll never hear them.

Every day I get letters from people all over the country.Invariable I get one that says,“Today I cleaned out my closet.Every five minutes I go in there—just to look at it!”

Organization feels good,and that good feeling spills over into your disposition.It can improve your entire outlook on life.Organized living sets you free from feelings of despair,and stress is greatly reduced.You experience a feeling akin to relief.I remember when I first observed a savings and loan promoting the“good feeling”that banking with them gave their customers.Since then I’ve noticed a lot of similar claims wafting through the airways:“We’ve got it and we’ve got it good.”“We bring good things to life.”“Milk has it.”“Make the world your oyster with Master Card.”Even the dog is running around the yard with the Hi-Pro glow.

These days everyone is cashing in on the good feeling.I,too,am offering it to you—free of charge.All it takes is some forethought,a little time,and some good old-fashioned work.Christopher Robin(from A.A.Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh)said it best:“Organizing is what you do before you do something,so that when you do it,it’s not all mixed up.”

If you want organized living with kids,you can have it.Stick with me and we’ll work together—gradually,smoothly,and systematically—down the road to emancipation.