If I do feign, you witnesses above Punish my life for tainting of my love! OLIVIA Ay me, detested! how am I beguiled! VIOLA Who does beguile you? who does do you wrong? OLIVIA Hast thou forgot thyself? is it so long?
Call forth the holy father. DUKE ORSINO Come, away! OLIVIA Whither, my lord? Cesario, husband, stay. DUKE ORSINO Husband! OLIVIA Ay, husband: can he that deny? DUKE ORSINO Her husband, sirrah! VIOLA No, my lord, not I. OLIVIA Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear That makes thee strangle thy propriety:
Fear not, Cesario; take thy fortunes up;
Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art As great as that thou fear'st.
Enter Priest O, welcome, father!
Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence, Here to unfold, though lately we intended To keep in darkness what occasion now Reveals before 'tis ripe, what thou dost know Hath newly pass'd between this youth and me. Priest A contract of eternal bond of love, Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your hands, Attested by the holy close of lips, Strengthen'd by interchangement of your rings;
And all the ceremony of this compact Seal'd in my function, by my testimony:
Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my grave I have travell'd but two hours. DUKE ORSINO O thou dissembling cub! what wilt thou be When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case?
Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow, That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow?
Farewell, and take her; but direct thy feet Where thou and I henceforth may never meet. VIOLA My lord, I do protest-- OLIVIA O, do not swear!
Hold little faith, though thou hast too much fear.
Enter SIR ANDREW SIR ANDREW For the love of God, a surgeon! Send one presently to Sir Toby. OLIVIA What's the matter? SIR ANDREW He has broke my head across and has given Sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of God, your help! I had rather than forty pound I were at home. OLIVIA Who has done this, Sir Andrew? SIR ANDREW The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate. DUKE ORSINO My gentleman, Cesario? SIR ANDREW 'Od's lifelings, here he is! You broke my head for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to do't by Sir Toby. VIOLA Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you:
You drew your sword upon me without cause;
But I bespoke you fair, and hurt you not. SIR ANDREW If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me: I think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and Clown Here comes Sir Toby halting; you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you othergates than he did. DUKE ORSINO How now, gentleman! how is't with you? SIR TOBY BELCH That's all one: has hurt me, and there's the end on't. Sot, didst see **** surgeon, sot? Clown O, he's drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes were set at eight i' the morning. SIR TOBY BELCH Then he's a rogue, and a passy measures panyn: I hate a drunken rogue. OLIVIA Away with him! Who hath made this havoc with them? SIR ANDREW I'll help you, Sir Toby, because well be dressed together. SIR TOBY BELCH Will you help? an ass-head and a coxcomb and a knave, a thin-faced knave, a gull! OLIVIA Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to.
Exeunt Clown, FABIAN, SIR TOBY BELCH, and SIR ANDREW Enter SEBASTIAN SEBASTIAN I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman:
But, had it been the brother of my blood, I must have done no less with wit and safety.
You throw a strange regard upon me, and by that I do perceive it hath offended you:
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows We made each other but so late ago. DUKE ORSINO One face, one voice, one habit, and two persons, A natural perspective, that is and is not! SEBASTIAN Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
How have the hours rack'd and tortured me, Since I have lost thee! ANTONIO Sebastian are you? SEBASTIAN Fear'st thou that, Antonio? ANTONIO How have you made division of yourself?
An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian? OLIVIA Most wonderful! SEBASTIAN Do I stand there? I never had a brother;
Nor can there be that deity in my nature, Of here and every where. I had a sister, Whom the blind waves and surges have devour'd.
Of charity, what kin are you to me?
What countryman? what name? what parentage? VIOLA Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father;
Such a Sebastian was my brother too, So went he suited to his watery tomb:
If spirits can assume both form and suit You come to fright us. SEBASTIAN A spirit I am indeed;
But am in that dimension grossly clad Which from the womb I did participate.
Were you a woman, as the rest goes even, I should my tears let fall upon your cheek, And say 'Thrice-welcome, drowned Viola!' VIOLA My father had a mole upon his brow. SEBASTIAN And so had mine. VIOLA And died that day when Viola from her birth Had number'd thirteen years. SEBASTIAN O, that record is lively in my soul!
He finished indeed his mortal act That day that made my sister thirteen years. VIOLA If nothing lets to make us happy both But this my masculine usurp'd attire, Do not embrace me till each circumstance Of place, time, fortune, do cohere and jump That I am Viola: which to confirm, I'll bring you to a captain in this town, Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help I was preserved to serve this noble count.
All the occurrence of my fortune since Hath been between this lady and this lord. SEBASTIAN [To OLIVIA] So comes it, lady, you have been mistook:
But nature to her bias drew in that.
You would have been contracted to a maid;
Nor are you therein, by my life, deceived, You are betroth'd both to a maid and man. DUKE ORSINO Be not amazed; right noble is his blood.
If this be so, as yet the glass seems true, I shall have share in this most happy wreck.
To VIOLA Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times Thou never shouldst love woman like to me. VIOLA And all those sayings will I overswear;