书城公版THE CONFESSIONS
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第115章 [1741](2)

In my first part I brought down my narrative to my departure with infinite regret from Paris, leaving my heart at Charmettes, and, there building my last castle in the air, intending some day to return to the feet of Mama, restored to herself, with the treasures I should have acquired, and depending upon my system of music as upon a certain fortune.

I made some stay at Lyons to visit my acquaintance, procure letters of recommendation to Paris, and to sell my books of geometry which I had brought with me.I was well received by all whom I knew.

M.and Madam de Mably seemed pleased to see me again, and several times invited me to dinner.At their house I became acquainted with the Abbe de Mably, as I had already done with the Abbe de Condillac, both of whom were on a visit to their brother.The Abbe de Mably gave me letters to Paris; among others, one to M.de Fontenelle, and another to the Comte de Caylus.These were very agreeable acquaintances, especially the first, to whose friendship for me his death only put a period, and from whom, in our private conversations, I received advice which I ought to have more exactly followed.

I likewise saw M.Bordes, with whom I had been long acquainted and who had frequently obliged me with the greatest cordiality and the most real pleasure.He it was who enabled me to sell my books; and he also gave me from himself good recommendations to Paris.I again saw the intendant for whose acquaintance I was indebted to M.

Bordes, and who introduced me to the Duke de Richelieu, who was then passing through Lyons.M.Pallu presented me.The duke received me well, and invited me to come and see him at Paris; I did so several times; although this great acquaintance, of which I shall frequently have occasion to speak, was never of the most trifling utility to me.

I visited the musician David, who, in one of my former journeys, and in my distress, had rendered me service.He had either lent or given me a cap and a pair of stockings, which I have never returned, nor has he ever asked me for them, although we have since that time frequently seen each other.I, however, made him a present, something like an equivalent.I would say more upon this subject, were what I have owed in question; but I have to speak of what I have done, which, unfortunately, is far from being the same thing.

I also saw the noble and generous Perrichon, and not without feeling the effects of his accustomed munificence; for he made me the same present he had previously done to "Gentil-Bernard," by paying for my place in the diligence.I visited the surgeon Parisot, the best and most benevolent of men; as also his beloved Godefroi, who had lived with him ten years, and whose merit chiefly consisted in her gentle manners and goodness of heart.It was impossible to see this woman without pleasure, or to leave her without regret.Nothing better shows the inclinations of a man, than the nature of his attachments* Those who had once seen the gentle Godefroi, immediately knew the good and amiable Parisot.

* Unless he be deceived in his choice, or that she, to whom he attaches himself, changes her character by an extraordinary concurrence of causes, which is not absolutely impossible.Were this consequence to be admitted without modification, Socrates must be judged by his wife Xantippe, and Dion by his friend Calippus, which would be the most false and iniquitous judgment ever made.However, let no injurious application be here made to my wife.She is weak and more easily deceived than I at first imagined, but by her pure and excellent character she is worthy of all my esteem.

I was much obliged to all these good people, but I afterwards neglected them all; not from ingratitude, but from that invincible indolence which so often assumes its appearance.The remembrance of their services, has never been effaced from my mind, nor the impression they made, from my heart; but I could more easily have proved my gratitude, than assiduously have shown them the exterior of that sentiment.Exactitude in correspondence is what I never could observe; the moment I begin to relax, the shame and embarrassment of repairing my fault make me aggravate it, and Ientirely desist from writing; I have, therefore, been silent, and appeared to forget them.Parisot and Perrichon took not the least notice of my negligence, and I ever found them the same.But, twenty years afterwards it will be seen, in M.Bordes, to what a degree the self-love of a wit can make him carry his vengeance when he feels himself neglected.

Before I leave Lyons, I must not forget an amiable person, whom Iagain saw with more pleasure than ever, and who left in my heart the most tender remembrance.This was Mademoiselle Serre, of whom I have spoken in my first part; I renewed my acquaintance with her whilst Iwas at M.de Mably's.